This is the second podcast episode in the ongoing story of pizza obsessed, tumblr veteran and budding teenage magician Scarlet Rose Parker.
In episode one Scarlet discovered she had a control freak for a computer, her mum had a spell book and she met a slightly smelly homeless guy called Martin.
Written, read and produced by Michael Cairns
The next podcast instalment will be out next saturday. Happy listening.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
It was only as the ground beneath their feet turned to grass and the ceiling above became dark rolling clouds, that Scarlet thought she should perhaps have told Martin what they were doing. Oops.
She looked at the hand clasped in hers. Lara wore bangles and bracelets, some the rubber ones you got from charity or bands and others, thin rounds of metal. They rubbed gently against her wrist. Maybe she should get some too. Maybe she should buy one for Lara.
Maybe she should find out where they were before someone or something inevitably attacked them. The field stretched away in all directions. Mountains filled the horizon, peaks covered in snow or hidden in the clouds.
Opposite was a forest, the sort you got lost in, or found a gingerbread house in, but either way probably never came out of. Lara’s mouth was wide open and she shook her head. Scarlet squeezed her hand. ‘You okay?’
‘Uh, yeah? Maybe? Where are we?’
‘No idea. Doesn’t matter though, we need to find the horse.’
‘It’s not a horse, it’s a unicorn.’
Scarlet raised an eyebrow. ‘Are you sure they exist?’
‘Why are you asking me? You’re the one who just opened a portal to another dimension or something.’
True. Somehow though, the idea of unicorns was a step too far, even if their horns had been removed. Was it called a horn? Did it have some fancy name?
She started to walk, taking slow steps through the long grass, enjoying the feel of the hand held in hers and the gentle caress of the bracelets against her wrist.
‘Where are we going?’
‘To find the unicorn.’
‘Well, yes, obviously, but where is it?’
Scarlet shrugged. ‘Normally, I just walk a bit and someone’ll screw things up for me, or kidnap me, or try to kill me. Whatever, we’re bound to come across it sooner or later. I’m just kinda liking the walking.’
She threw a smile to Lara, who laughed as her forehead wrinkled up. ‘Shouldn’t we have some sort of strategy?’
‘Does it involve splitting up? ‘Cause if it does, I’m against it.’
‘I don’t know, we don’t have one yet.’
‘Oh.’
They walked on and sure enough, after only a few minutes, the white figure of a horse emerged from a gap in the hills and galloped out onto the meadow, shaking its head back and forth. They stopped, watching it prance. Scarlet frowned.
‘Aren’t you supposed to be, like, awestruck by the beauty of it or something?’
‘I’m not sure, possibly, yes.’
‘That was conclusive, thanks.’
Lara laughed again and Scarlet stopped looking at the unicorn to glance at her girlfriend. Girlfriend. Heh. She could see her in profile, see the tip of her nose rising slightly, the tiniest wrinkles around the corner of her mouth where she smiled. She must smile a lot.
‘Help you?’
She almost wasn’t surprised that the unicorn was talking to them. Almost. She did, however, jump out of her skin and gasp as the massive beast galloped up to them. He stopped just in time, by which point they were both cowering, hands over their heads. His voice was quieter now and sounded amused.
‘Word to the wise, the best way to avoid being trampled to death is not to put your hands over your faces. Ain’t gonna help much.’
Scarlet recovered first, watching him stamp his massive hooves against the grass, snorting, his mane twitching. ‘Thanks for the tip. Speaking of which, what happened to your horn?’
The stamping stopped, the unicorn’s head coming close into Scarlet. The eyes were huge, as big as her fist and she worked very hard to neither back away nor whimper.
‘It’s not very nice to bring attention to another’s shortcomings.’
‘I’d have thought it was a short-going, actually, you know, being on the front…’
She trailed off as the eyes bore into her. Okay, stupid move. The unicorn was larger than any horse she’d ever seen. To be fair, she’d only ever seen a couple, normally ridden by police, but they had seemed big at the time. This thing was huge, like, twice her height and when it pulled its lips back she could see teeth the size of her head. At least.
‘You are not of this place.’
She bit back another flippant retort, and shook her head. ‘No, we’ve come here from London.’
‘Where’s that?’
‘England?’
A blank stare.
‘Europe?’
Another.
‘Earth?’
‘Ahh, how is it there?’
The two of them exchanged glances. This was, she had to admit, now quite surreal. ‘It’s okay. Weather’s a bit crap, but you don’t seem to have much better here.’
The unicorn tossed its mane again, looking over their heads. ‘The end of days is here.’ He sounded bored and tired and grumpy. ‘The clouds have been steady for… perhaps twenty, maybe thirty years. I lost count a long time ago.’
‘Um, how old are you?’
The unicorn turned its attention to Lara. ‘She ain’t the only rude one, then? Do you normally ask people how old they are, back on Earth?’
Lara turned bright red and stammered. ‘Um, no, no, sorry, not at all, goodness, do please forgive me.’
‘Hm, you talk better than your mate, at least. I remember when the forest behind you were striplings, barely planted. I remember those who planted them, and I remember the forest that was there before the planters cut it down to build.’
‘Old, then?’
He turned his attention back to her, lip rising again as he snorted. ‘You’re interesting. Why are you here?’
‘Actually, we came to see you. I mean, assuming you’re the only unicorn with his horn chopped off in these parts?’
He stamped again, head shaking, and she tried to figure out if he was angry or if it was, like, a nervous twitch or something. She hurried on. ‘Someone’s trying to bring the Undying back to life. We thought you might be able to help.’
‘Ah.’
Was that it? They waited a little longer, but nothing more was forthcoming. ‘So, do you think you could help us, please?’
‘How long’s it been since the last time.’
‘About sixty years, I think. Quite a while really.’
Another long, awkward silence, during which Scarlet got to wondering where the nearest toilet was and whether the clouds above ever delivered the rain they so obviously promised.
‘You lot are clumsy back on earth, ain’t you? Yeah, I’ll help.’
‘That’s a relief. Thanks. What can you do?’
The unicorn actually did a double take, which was one of the funniest things she’d ever seen. ‘The usual, you know.’
‘Um, no?’
He sighed, then snorted. ‘What all unicorns do. I’ll act as a conduit for your magic, strengthening it, making it greater than it would otherwise be and thus giving you the power needed to defeat the Undying.’
‘Actually, I was hoping we could make it so we never got to the point of actually having to fight him, you know? So, like, can you do anything else?’
The unicorn stamped and shook his head. Okay, it was definitely a reaction. She took a step back. ‘OK, great, well, that’s really cool, thanks. Will you come back with us now?’
‘I will. How do you propose we return to earth?’
‘Well, I’ve got the ingredients, so we’ll just get it together and then I’ll open the portal, same as on the way here.’
The unicorn shook its head, almost on a par with the double take for weird humour. ‘No you won’t. The ruler of this place has it locked down tighter than the queen’s privates. Why do you think I’m still here, even after he took off my horn? No one leaves the kingdom without the king’s say so.’
Next Installment Monday 3rd March
‘So we have a chance then? I mean, if you’re his grand-daughter you must have some serious magical shit going on, right?’
Scarlet ignored Martin’s frown at the cuss, her eyes fixed on Lara who squirmed beneath their joint stares. She grinned weakly and shook her head. ‘Actually, I didn’t really believe any of the stories. Father used to speak about him all the time, but they were only stories, he didn’t know him either.’
‘So you don’t do magic at all, then?’
‘Magic?’
Scarlet looked at Martin, who gave her a wry grin and shrugged. ‘We have the book, and that is help enough.’
Lara looked distraught, all scared rabbit. ‘I’m sorry, really.’
Scarlet waved it away, swallowing her disappointment. ‘It’s no biggie.’ She turned to Martin. ‘So what does the book tell us, then?’
Martin looked up from where he was already reading. ‘Well, hopefully, it will inform us of the whereabouts of the Charms and how we use them, amongst other things.’
He cleared his throat, burying his head back in the book and Scarlet stood, watching for a second. He cleared his throat again, then looked up at her, forehead creased. ‘I’ll need a little time to read this, perhaps you two should find some way to amuse yourselves for a while.’
He was back to reading before she could open her mouth, so she turned to Lara. Lara was on her phone, tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth as she concentrated. It was cute. Scarlet touched her arm, and she looked up, blinking. ‘Um, yes?’
She motioned to the door with her head. ‘We need to get out of here for a while, give the ‘great one’ time to digest the contents of your book.’
She ignored the grunt from behind her and headed for the exit, Lara just behind. As they stepped out into the afternoon sun, Lara asked. ‘Do you really do magic?’
‘What do think this whole thing is about? What do think the Undying is?’
‘I don’t know, not really, just that it sounded sort of exciting, and…’
Scarlet stopped, looking at her. ‘And?’
Lara’s cheeks reddened and she looked at her shoes. ‘And you looked really hot, you know, on your profile. Mum and Dad don’t really know I’m gay, and I’ve not really had a girlfriend, but you, well, you know, you aren’t someone my parents could meet, or anything…’
She trailed off, one side of her mouth pulled up, eyebrows high as she shrugged. Scarlet wasn’t sure whether to be doing cartwheels or really pissed. ‘So do you think I’m hot, or do you just want a relationship without your parents knowing?’
‘Both?’
Both. OK. Did it matter if her parents knew? She felt like the forbidden fruit, like she was a black guy back in the fifties having some illicit affair with a white girl, living in fear of daddy finding out and beating the crap out of him. It could have been exciting, but actually it was just really annoying. Scarlet didn’t make a thing of being gay, or bi, or whatever, at school, but mum knew and it was cool with her. Weren’t rich people supposed to be more open minded, better at dealing with this sort of thing? ‘Why haven’t you told your mum and dad?’
Lara let out a sigh. ‘I think, for my dad, the idea I might be dating is just weird. He thinks I’m still twelve. So I need to get past that, before they find out, you know…?’
Scarlet nodded and set off through the estate. She still wasn’t sure how she felt about it. Lara caught up, puffing. ‘So, where are we going?’
‘Are we, like, going out, then?’
Lara stopped and Scarlet took another couple of steps before she turned round. Lara was wide-eyed and blushing. ‘Is that how it works then, that easy?’
Scarlet laughed, shaking her head. ‘I don’t know, I thought you were asking me out.’
‘Um, yeah, I guess so?’
They stared at one another, Scarlet’s face glowing, then they both smiled and burst out laughing. Apparently it was that simple. If she’d known, she’d have tried it ages ago. As they walked, Lara slipped her hand into Scarlet’s. The estate wasn’t the best place for that, but right now, she didn’t care.
‘So, I thought we’d go somewhere I can show you some magic.’
‘Cool.’
She sounded like a fan girl. It was cute. A few minutes later they were back in Scarlet’s bedroom, sat on the bed, the laptop open between them. She’d enlarged the horse picture and in doing so realised it wasn’t actually a horse. The stump of a horn protruded from between its ears.
There was a unicorn on her Tumblr and unless someone had done an amazing job with Photoshop, it was real. Once they’d both stopped geeking out, she’d had a brilliant idea.
‘So, it’s a finding spell. I’ve only ever used it to find Martin, but I figure there can’t be too many unicorns with their horn cut off, right?’
Lara nodded, open-mouthed. ‘You’re actually going to do some magic, aren’t you?’
‘Hope so.’
She set the ingredients out, picked up her spell book and was about to recite when she paused. ‘Uh, so, this might open a door, to somewhere else. Are you ready?’
Lara nodded, mouth still open, eyes wide. She closed her mouth and nodded again. ‘Yeah, I am. Hey—’
Scarlet stared at her, at her sky-tinted eyes and waited. Lara grinned, suddenly confident. ‘Do you need a kiss for luck?’
Scarlet giggled and leaned forward, and their lips brushed together. It wasn’t the sort of first kiss she’d read about, but it was like someone had run an electric current through her, in a nice way, and she was suddenly breathing hard.
Their eyes were only inches away, and she could tell from the way Lara’s tightened she’d felt the same thing. She opened her mouth to speak, and realised there weren’t any words that would make it any more perfect. Could something be more perfect? Either it was or it wasn’t, right?
She blinked, and lifted the spell book, and gave Lara a shy smile before she began to read. The words came easy now, flowing off her tongue and filling the room with the gentle cadence. She held the picture in her mind, zooming in on the stump of the horn and the dirty white of the mane, and Lara gasped as the light appeared.
Scarlet stood, took her girlfriend’s hand (girlfriend. Actual girlfriend. Heh.), and they stepped through the light.
Next Installment Friday 28th February
Scarlet stared at the wall, forehead covered in sweat and hands shaking. Then she scrambled up, shoved her computer to one side and tore off her clothes. She was almost in the shower when she realised she should reply. She dashed back into her room, sparing her tiny wardrobe a despairing glance, and grabbed her laptop.
‘OMG, that’s amazing. I have to shower, I’m, like, really gross, I’ll come down and meet you in a bit. Please don’t leave.’
She stared at the last sentence, biting her lip, then hit send and ran for the bathroom. The moment the water struck her she remembered her words to Martin about Tumblr. She might step out into the street and see the guy, the creepy one who’d stabbed…
The events of yesterday shoulder-charged the feeble barrier she’d put up and she bent double, dry heaving as the hot water washed away her tears. Where was Martin? Was he still alive?
She glanced at the necklace resting innocently atop the toilet. She had nothing to go on since Healer got killed. What she needed to do was put the necklace back on and see what they were saying, but if she heard someone say they were going to kill her, she might actually wet herself.
She was out the house fifteen minutes later, not actually believing for a second that Lara had waited for her. She could have been quicker but the idea of leaving the house without makeup was a bit like using the toilet at school, entirely possible, but never gonna happen.
She slowed as she got near the end of the street, seeing a girl staring away from her and up at the sky. She was wearing this black coat, tight at the waist, like, the coolest thing ever, and one of those little knitted hat things she wished she could pull off, but blatantly couldn’t.
‘Uh, Lara?’
She turned around and smiled, and Scarlet knew that even if she hadn’t been wearing the badge that said ‘I read, get over it’, and hadn’t had a faded My Chemical Romance T-shirt on, she’d have still been in love. It was the sort of smile they used to sell stuff, only lovely stuff, like unicorns and chocolate.
‘Scarlet, right?’
‘Uh, well, um, my name’s really, well, um. Yeah.’
She stuck out a hand, wondering whether her lameness could get any worse, but Lara took it and shook it and was still smiling, and she guessed that it probably could. Lara sounded sort of posh, a bit like Scarlet’s poems voice. She took a deep breath. She could do this, just slowly and with plenty of thinking time.
‘So, how do you know about me?’
Lara shifted so all her weight was over her right hip and furrowed her brows. ‘So weird, right, my computer wiped my Tumblr account, completely blanked it. So I’m screaming at it, and wondering whether I can sue Samsung and Tumblr, when a new account pops up, with three posts already on it.’
Scarlet nodded knowingly. Seeker had mentioned something about her having a clever computer, but she thought maybe there was someone out there clever with computers. But who was it and why did they want to help her?
‘What were the posts?’
‘Right, so, the first was a picture of you, which was, like, great, with a link to your facebook. The next was a poem retelling the story of Jesus’s birth, which was really cool.’ She stopped, breathless, and Scarlet realised she’d found someone who could talk faster than her. ‘The other one was a story, about my grandad. I have no idea how anyone knew about him, but there you go.’
‘So how do you know about the Undying?’
Lara tilted her head to one side, flashing that bewitching grin at her again. Bewitching. Heh, that was cool.
‘Well, the story about grandad led me to the attic, and a book in the attic, and that told me all about the Undying, so I just messaged you with that and I figured if you didn’t know about it, you’d just think I was a freak and ignore me, and if you did, then it was all good.’
‘There’s no way I was ever going to ignore you.’
She said it before she thought and turned bright red, but Lara laughed and in her mind, the sun came out and little pixies started to dance and sing. She blinked, realised Lara was staring at her, and grinned sheepishly.
‘So, you wanna come to mine?’
Lara nodded, and they walked down the road, side by side. Scarlet had to work hard to not to keep looking at her, but her toes were all scrunched up in her boots and she couldn’t decide whether or not to put her hands in her pockets, which seemed suddenly very important.
They got into her room without mum noticing and once she’d got over the fact she had a beautiful girl in her room who actually seemed to like her, she asked to see the book. As it emerged from Lara’s bag, she gasped, and reached for it.
Lara raised her eyebrows and Scarlet rushed to explain. ‘It’s one of the pictures on my Tumblr. There were three things…’
She told her about the posts, then about everything that had happened the day before. By the time she was finished they were both sitting on the bed, the book between them, and Lara’s face was pale.
‘They were actually dead?’
Scarlet nodded, thinking again about Martin. She stood. ‘Look, I get it if you don’t want to come along, but I need to try and find Martin.’
Lara shook her head. ‘I do want to come, I mean, if you want me to?’
Scarlet grinned, reddening again and pathetically grateful for her foundation, and nodded. ‘Yeah, I’d really like it, if you want to?’
‘I do.’
There was a moment of silence, when Scarlet thought she could feel her heart beating and her eyes focused on the spot where Lara’s shoulder emerged from the top of her jumper and it was the most perfect thing she’d ever seen. Then they both laughed, too loud, and Scarlet ran for the bathroom.
She could do this, she could be cool and calm and collected and not make a complete tit of herself. OK, maybe not cool, but everything else she could manage.
They slipped from the house and headed through the estate. Lara gave her a look.
‘It’s pretty grotty around here, huh?’
‘Where do you live?’
‘I’m in Harrow, up on the hill.’
‘Nice?’
‘Yeah. You know, trees and cute little shops, and there’s this most amazing bookshop where they have sofas and a coffee machine and they actually want you to stay there and read.’
Scarlet sighed. Then a thought struck her.
‘You don’t own a horse, do you?’
Lara laughed, looking at her. ‘We’re not that rich. Well, I don’t know, mum and dad probably could afford it, but I’ve never really wanted a horse.’
Trying to ignore the whole money thing, Scarlet shook her head in confusion. ‘Doesn’t everyone want a horse?’
Lara laughed again. ‘You’re funny.’
‘Um, not joking.’
Her new friend laughed even harder and Scarlet winced. Who didn’t want a horse? They reached Martin’s and she slipped in through the bin doors, enjoying the way Lara’s nose wrinkled as she squeezed in, trying to stop any of her clothes from touching anything.
They climbed up to the door and Scarlet knocked. A gruff voice bade them enter and Scarlet pushed it open. Martin was slumped on the sofa, top off, white bandage wrapped around his chest.
Scarlet rushed over, dropping to her knees and putting a hand gently on the bandages. ‘God, are you alright?’
Martin nodded, grunting. ‘I shall be fine. Who is this?’
She wasn’t used to him being brusque, but she hadn’t ever brought anyone here. It was, it occurred to her, probably very bad form to bring a stranger to a magician’s house. Did it count as a house when it was the rooms beneath a block of flats?
‘Um, this is Lara. She wants to help.’
‘What does she know?’
‘She got a book, from her granddad. It’s the book from the pictures.’
His eyes perked up and he sat a little straighter, addressing Lara directly for the first time. ‘Hello, Lara, please forgive my current state. I was stabbed.’
Scarlet rolled her eyes at Lara and she giggled. ‘May I see the book, please?’
Lara pulled it out and handed it over. Martin smoothed a hand gently over the leather cover, then opened it. His eyebrows shot up and he gasped. Actually gasped. He’d never gasped before. She waited as he flicked slowly through the first few pages, shifting from foot to foot.
‘Well, what is it?’
He looked at her, eyes bright. ‘This book has been lost for decades.’ He turned to Lara. ‘Who is your granddad?’
Lara shrugged. ‘Um, Granddad Thornbright, and it’s was, I never knew him.’
Another double take from Martin and Scarlet took a step back, swallowing as he sat forward, injury forgotten. ‘Edward Thornbright?’
‘Uh, yeah, I think so.’
Martin laughed, throwing his hands up. ‘So you’re his grand-daughter? Well goodness me, what are the odds?’
They were both looking at him, arms folded, waiting. Scarlet broke first. ‘Would you please just tell us what’s going on?’
He smiled broadly. ‘The last time someone tried to raise the Undying was sixty years ago. The man who stopped it died in the doing. His name was Edward Thornbright.’
Next Installment Wednesday 26th February
This is the first podcast episode in the ongoing story of pizza obsessed, tumblr veteran and budding teenage magician Scarlet Rose Parker.
Written, read and produced by Michael Cairns
The next podcast instalment will be out next saturday. Happy listening.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
With a wordless cry she dropped to her knees beside him and tried to roll him over. He was heavy but she got her shoulder beneath his arm and heaved and finally he moved, his arm flying out to crack against the hard floor.
A knife was buried in his shoulder and his eyes were fluttering, half open. ‘Martin, can you hear me, Martin?’
He forced them open, blinking slowly. ‘Scarlet. Go home, go home now. You shouldn’t be here. This isn’t your fight, not anymore. Go home.’
‘But you’re dying.’ Her hands rested on his chest and she sobbed, the tears creeping up on her. His hand came up, surprisingly strong.
‘I’m not dying. But you can’t be here anymore. I should have sent you away after the first one. Go home.’
‘But—’
‘NOW.’
She stumbled to her feet shaking her head, heart hammering in her chest. His head rolled to one side, but his chest was still rising and falling. What was she supposed to do? His head rolled back, eyes open again, and he whispered now.
‘Joanna Slater, as your master, I command you to leave here now, and return to a place of safety.’
He had that official tone on that made her want to punch him, but she glanced at the body on the desk and thought for the first time that maybe he was right. She ran to the door, looking back at him. He nodded, slowly, and she could see his eyes were already wider, alert, and his mouth was moving, chanting.
With a whimper she opened the door and dashed out into the tunnel, slamming it behind her.
She didn’t remember the journey home, only sitting on the bus hugging her knees to her chest as she stared out at the dim light of the late afternoon, seeing again and again the bodies and the sightless eyes that followed her the entire way.
—-
She awoke to find her quilt on the floor and her body bathed in sweat. It didn’t help that she still had her clothes on. She peered out the window at the dull light creeping in. It was morning, earlier than she cared to see and, she realised, the first proper day of holiday.
Christmas was now only two days away, which meant two days until everything ended. The thought was laughable, and she desperately wanted to cry. She grabbed for her laptop, craving distraction, and flicked onto facebook.
No messages, nothing new there then. The few people she had as friends, normally school associates who were kind enough to respond to her friend requests, were up to their usual tricks. Jenny and Ashika got really pissed last night, and posted loads of random videos. Won’t be watching them, then.
James had a new high score on COD. Yay. The nice thing about James was he had almost as few friends as she did and most of them were twelve year old gamers from the states whom he took great pleasure in luring somewhere in the game, then turning on them, earning wails of distress down the headset.
He’d told her all this in great detail, which was about the most boring thing ever, but as he’d patiently listened to the entire plot of ‘The Half-blood Prince’, she couldn’t really argue.
A message! The little box sprung up from the bottom of the screen and she stared at it, waiting for it to go away or announce she was a competition winner courtesy of some completely inappropriate alcohol.
She maximised it and read it, then read it again. Then blinked and read it again.
‘Scarlet, my name is Lara. I know about the Undying and I want to help. Pls respond. Btw, your profile picture is hot! ;)’
Her profile picture was hot. Heh. She clicked through and was immediately annoyed that the line had already been taken. Lara was, like, the epitomy of hot. Possibly, assuming epitomy meant what she thought it did.
With an efficiency born of experience she trawled Lara’s profile, building up a pretty good picture of her in a few minutes. She liked the right sort of music, Green Day, Paramore; she loved Anime, Disney, and the works of Luc Besson, whoever that was. She read lots, all sorts of books, and loved cats. She was, basically, made to be her wife.
She had the most amazing eyes, green, almost grey, that seemed to jump out of the screen, but not in a crazy way. Her hair was shortish, back-combed, but not in a terrible eighties way, and she was sporting a pout that made parts of Scarlet sit up and take notice like they never had before.
Her hands were actually shaking slightly as she hit reply. ‘Hey Lara, thanks for the message. I’d love your help, and maybe your babies… delete, delete.
Hey Lara, thanks for your message. Yes please, I’d really love some help. Where are you?’
She stared at it for a few minutes, trying to work out how she could mention the whole really sexy thing, but failed and hit send before she could bottle out.
A few seconds later her computer pinged again and the message popped up. ‘Actually, sorry for the creep factor, but I’m at the bottom of your road.’
Next Installment Monday 12th February