Part One is here

Wednesday – Krystal Part Three

The lady in the shop was like the most generous person in the world. She gave her enough sandwiches for dinner as well and asked for a quid. Still shaking her head, Krystal wandered down to the river. Something was bugging her. Something other than the silent ghost drifting along behind.

It was the look the woman gave the rose she carried. As she walked in the shop, both women behind the counter turned to look at her and they both zeroed in on the rose. They had some sort of look between them then treated her like their daughter. Which was weird cause she wasn’t that much younger than them.

She shrugged and settled on a bench. Another sunny day. Ed came and set beside her, as far to the other end as possible.

‘I’m going to do it tonight.’

‘How? How you gonna do it?’

‘There are four hostels round here, right?’

‘Yeah.’

‘So I’ll go to each one until I find him. When I do, I’ll put a knife between his ribs.’

‘You know how difficult it actually is to stab someone to death? There are guys in America in those prisons got stabbed like fifty times and din’t die.’

‘Yeah, but he’ll be sleeping and I’ll put it in his heart.’

‘Even so.’ She sighed. What the hell was she thinking? ‘What do you need me for then?’

‘I need you to vouch for me, to say I was with you all night.’

‘Ooh yeah, you and me cosying up, I can see it now. Bollocks, they won’t go for that.’

‘He’s just one of us. Why would they believe a dead person and not both of us?’

He was right. She could say the right words and probably, maybe, it would work.

‘Where’s the knife?’

‘I don’t know. I have to find one. But that’s easy. As long as the blade’s long enough.’

She hissed through her teeth and stared at the unwrapped sandwich in her hand. Her appetite was gone but she still stuffed it into her mouth and took a bite. It was bloody delicious and her appetite came flooding back. She crammed the best part of it into her mouth and, without thinking, offered the other one to Ed.

He looked from it to her and with that labrador face, took it in shaking hands. She was skinny, but he was scary thin, like he’d fall over in a strong wind.

‘You ain’t got the strength to put it through his skin.’ Why was she even contemplating this?

‘I have. It won’t take much, not with a sharp knife.’

‘He’ll wake up, you know? Moment the point goes in ‘im, he’ll wake up and go for you.’

‘Yeah, I know. I’ll line it up and do it in one big shove. I’ve thought about it.’

‘Yeah, I can tell. So I help you, what’s in it for me?’

‘My undying gratitude.’

She burst out laughing, sides aching from the unfamiliar. ‘Right, so you’ll remember me when you’re driving around in your Ferrari, that right?’

He chuckled as well. ‘I don’t have anything else.’

‘You know what you got? You’ve got your freedom and the chance something might be different tomorrow.’

‘Do you really believe that?’

She sneered and hissed at him. She’d keep her bloody sandwiches next time. She was only angry cause he was right. She din’t believe it, not for a second. She was counting the winters till they got a bad one and she couldn’t get in the hostel and they found her next morning looking like frosty the bloody snowman. Just counting the days.

Was prison such a bad option compared to that? She sniffed and got off the bench. Maybe doing something different was the change she needed. ‘Alright, I can do that. Where are we gonna say we were?’

His eyes opened a little wider and she realised he hadn’t planned this far ahead. ‘Surprised you, did I?’

He looked slightly sick as he nodded. ‘Yeah. Um, so, I suppose one of the hostels that he’s not at.’

‘So we start together at one of them and you can go off and find him and then come back and I’ll say you never left.’

‘Yeah, yeah, that sounds perfect.’

He stood and bounced from foot to foot. ‘I better be off, need to find a knife.’

‘Yeah. Same place as last night?’ She thought about offering to help, but that was a step too far. One thing at a time. He nodded and walked off, head not quite so bowed. He slipped between the normals in their suits and was gone. She blinked and looked down at the rose in her hand. Why had he given her this?

It was a slow day, but she got enough cash for the hostel. She trudged back to Black Street, where she’d started the day, and rang the bell. It would be Mrs Ely again tonight. She stood on the step, twisting the rose between her fingers and caught the scent again.

She was transported. She stood in a graveyard, rain pelting her. Her clothes stuck to her body and she shivered. The rose was still in her hand and she placed it on a mound of freshly dug earth. The headstone just said Ed and she shivered again.

The sound of a door opening intruded and she blinked. The graveyard was gone, replaced by the opening door of the hostel. The rose looked sort of ordinary, the petals curled and pale from a day in her hand. She sniffed and headed inside.

He arrived out of breath, kitchen knife stuffed in his belt. They didn’t say much, just ate more of the sandwiches and stared at the walls. They hadn’t talked about what they’d do if Dawid turned up here. Probably stay until it was done, she guessed, but the words kept sticking in her throat.

It was actually happening. She only believed it when he got up and leaned down, mouth close to her ear.

‘You’re going to do this, right?’ His voice shook.

She nodded. ‘Yeah, I am.’

He went to the door and was about to go when she jumped up. ‘Here, it’s weird, but d’you want the rose?’

She shoved it at him and he took it before he realised what it was. He blinked as he looked at it and back at her. ‘Thanks.’

‘Yeah, whatever.’

The door closed and she stared into her cup. The tea swirled gently round and round and she watched it. Circles, never ending circles. Every time she thought they’d stop, she put her spoon back in and stirred a little more. That was all it took, a spoon in the right place, a knife in the right back and the circles began.

She smashed her hand through the cup and the contents flew across the room to strike the wall. The other two in there gasped and stared and she ignored them. Who put their fist through her life? She wasn’t sure if it was dad, or mum, or social or all three. But there had been circles and circles and then the fist came and she was showered all over the wall.

Krystal swore and jumped from her seat. She ignored Mrs Ely’s cries of dismay as she headed out the front door and dashed down Black street toward Shaftesbury Avenue. Three hostels and the streets were dark and already quietening. She kept up a steady stream of invective as she raced toward Soho.

She’d seen him there more often than not. It was the biggest, above the YMCA and always packed. Easy place for him to find his next victim. She sniffed as she ran, catching scent of the rain that threatened to wash London out by the morning. That would be fitting. But she’d seen blood in rain, after an accident. It didn’t wash away, it just thinned out until the street turned pink.

She reached the hostel and bent double, hands on her knees. Her chest heaved and spots appeared before her eyes. She had to get inside, she couldn’t be too late. She rang the bell then thumped the door until it was pulled open by an angry looking Mr Jensen. He frowned, lined face growing deep crevices.

‘Yeah, sorry, I know it’s late, please?’

The creases didn’t go away, but he stood back and made room for her. With a grateful smile she slipped past him and surveyed the main room. It was busy tonight but she saw him instantly. He was in a crowd, sat on the arm of a chair, leaning over a boy no older than Ed and saying something that made them all laugh.

Her skin crawled and she stopped by the door. Did he deserve to live? He would do it tonight, same as most nights and another boy would be scarred. Ed would stop that. Speaking of which…

She checked them, one at a time. He wasn’t here. Unless he’d already gone to bed. She weaved through the common room, waving at the people she recognised. If she was Ed, she’d call them friends, but that was stupid. No one was friends here.

She headed for the dorms. They were separated here so she waited until the coast was clear before she sneaked into the boys’. Ed was there, with his back to her. He knelt in the centre of the room, head bowed and she paused, watching him. What was he doing? Was he praying? She snickered and he jumped and spun round. Tears ran down his snot-covered face and he clutched the knife in both hands.

‘What are you doing here?’ His voice shook.

‘I’m not doing it.’

His control shattered and he howled, falling on his face and spreading his arms wide. He looked like he’d fallen from high up and splattered across the dormitory floor. She took a step closer and his fists clenched. She took a deep breath as he suddenly sat up, bringing the knife in toward himself.

It all happened horribly fast. The knife twisted until it was aimed at him and she shouted something. She didn’t know what, she was too busy diving at him. The knife moved, flashing beneath the fluorescent strip and she saw it slip through the ragged material of his t-shirt. Then her hand caught his arm and the knife and both of them went flying.

He was pinned to the floor beneath her. It would never have happened with anyone else, but he was so slight. The knife slid away from them and bumped into the far wall. She panted. He shook beneath her and she rolled off, thumping onto the floor and looking across at him. His forehead pressed against the cold tiles, snot and tears smearing across them.

‘I can’t do it. I want my mum.’

She let out a long breath and sat up. He came willingly enough, falling onto her lap and heaving great sobs. The sound broke something inside her and her own tears ran hot down her cheeks, tears she hadn’t shed in all the time she’d been on the streets. Something slipped and tore free and a great weight fell away, leaving her floating despite the sobbing boy in her lap.

Interlude

Two for the price of one. And for only one rose. He hadn’t expected the change in her as well. The boy wasn’t saved, not how the Office would like, but he was away from the edge, so his job was done.

He couldn’t count it as two officially. But using her had been a master stroke and he couldn’t wait to tell Seph about it. For a week that had started so badly, he was feeling pretty good. He already knew who he was having tomorrow.

This one was tricky. He almost always felt sympathy for his subjects. There were always extraneous circumstances of some sort. No one counted love as an excuse, which was the most stupid thing he’d ever heard. If love didn’t make you do stupid things, then what did?

But tomorrow’s subject was nothing to do with love. Nothing to do with anything except greed. If he hadn’t been made of pure energy, he might have considered not bothering. If.

Next Installment Monday 30th June

Part One is here

Wednesday – Krystal part two

‘I’m going to kill him.’

She thought she was going to laugh; that was the most sensible response. But there was something in his serious little face that choked it off. She settled for opening her mouth and closing it again then shaking her head.

‘No you’re not.’

‘Yes I am. I’m going to kill him and dump his body in the river and then he’ll never hit anyone or do what he did to me again.’

There it was again, the look that was a challenge, that dared her to laugh. ‘You’ll get caught.’

‘So you don’t think it’s wrong?’

‘Of course it’s bloody wrong.’

She ducked her head, glancing around the dining room at the others. Four had entered since they started breakfast but they were all too busy eating cornflakes to give a toss what they were talking about. She lowered her voice.

‘Of course it’s bloody wrong. But I don’t care about that. What I’d be worried about is getting caught.’

‘That’s why I need you.’

Krystal took one look at him and snorted. She pushed her chair back and picked up her tea. ‘Lovely talking to you. Good luck with everything.’

She walked as fast as her tea would allow out the dining room and into the morning air. The days that began with tea were always better than those that didn’t. The ones that begin with boys trying to convince her to get involved with murder weren’t normally so good.

She stomped away, trying to choose her destination. Coppers were pretty hot on Tottenham Court Road at the moment. Covent Garden maybe, find a few guilt-ridden tourists. Tourists always paid better than locals. Everyone knew that. ‘Cept maybe Ed. He probably din’t know that. Apparently, he knew nothing.

She heard the pad of feet on the pavement behind her and sighed, shaking her head. Bloody labrador. He came up alongside, puffing.

‘You walk fast.’

‘Yeah s’better than running and gets you places.’

‘Can we talk?’

‘No.’

‘Look, please, just for a mi—’

Krystal stopped and swung her hands about in the air, tea slopping over the edge of her cup. ‘Leave me alone. You ain’t gonna kill him cause then you go to jail and that’s bloody stupid. I mean, that’s it, game over.’

‘Oh, because this game’s so much fun.’

‘This game’s bollocks, init, but trust me, prison makes this look like the sunny side of the street.’

‘Yeah, well, maybe, but I’m going to kill him and I need your help and if you don’t help me then I’m definitely going to prison.’

The tea went flying as she grabbed his collar. She shoved him halfway across the street before the honk of a horn made her remember where they were. She gave him a final push and let go, setting off at a stomp toward Charing Cross. Traffic was building up, all the rich wankers in their suits and ties. Begging here was like sitting in the desert waiting for rain. Only the desert smelled better.

He was following her. She could feel it, like a bit of paper stuck to her shoe. He was bloody mad. And he tried to blackmail her and that was way beyond. She raced across the lights and into the streets around Covent Garden. Coming here reminded her of when she’d still lived at home.

Mum had brought her here, once or twice, after dad left. They hadn’t bought anything. They’d laughed at the thought, but it still felt special. Din’t feel much of anything now ‘cept bile in her throat. Shoes worth more than she was. No, not worth more, just cost more.

She’d been approached, more than once. It was the eyes. And they always offered less than these bastard shoes. A pair of shoes for your virginity and pride and self. Lucky they didn’t know she was a virgin really, or they’d have offered her more. Maybe she’d have been tempted.

Krystal spat on the floor, earning looks from the couple putting tables and chairs outside the cafe. She thought about sitting in one just to watch them react, then opted not to. She glanced over her shoulder as she turned the corner. He was still there, still following. Bloody hell.

She went through the market, out the other side and found a nice spot near a cash point. The sun made begging so much easier. Didn’t get any more money, but people didn’t hurry as much and she could relax. Gets too cold, you never relax, just shiver until you fall asleep.

She’d been there an hour or two before he approached and sat down beside her.

‘Oi, piss off, would you. Never get anything with two of us here.’

‘I’ll split anything I get.’

‘You won’t get anything. People never give when there’re two of you.’

‘Why not?’

‘Who do they give to? They ain’t giving to both and they can’t decide cause it makes ‘em feel bad, so they just don’t give at all.’

‘I need to talk to you.’

‘No you don’t. You said all you need to say. Look, leave me alone. You want advice, leave him alone too. He’s a bastard, complete and utter and you don’t want anything to do wi—’

‘I can still feel him inside me. I can hear him in my ear. I couldn’t leave him alone if I tried.’

Krystal winced, looking down at the cup placed on the pavement before her. How the hell was she supposed to respond to that? ‘Yeah, look, I get that, b—’

‘Do you? Has it happened to you?’

‘Well, no, I been lucky, but he punched me and he’s punched a lot of other people. And done what he did to you. No one’s killed him be—’

‘So he was there to do it to me. How long before he comes for you?’

‘He won’t he only likes boys.’

‘Of course he does, stupid me, why didn’t I know? But how about someone else? Someone else will come for you, won’t they, eventually.’

‘So? Killing him won’t make any bloody difference. He’s gone, it’ll just be someone else. You go to prison and they’ll be lining up.’

‘I can’t go to prison, I’m too young.’

‘You think the Y.O.I.’s any better?’

He fell silent, chewing on his lip like it was his first hot meal in weeks. Krystal tried a few sad looks at the passers-by and got a quid for her troubles. The boy shrunk back against the wall. You’d barely notice him, even if you knew he was there. She tried a bit harder and got enough for some lunch.

Krystal’s stomach growled. The trouble with having breakfast, it makes you hungry for the rest of the day.

‘Right, see you then.’

She set off walking fast and for a moment he stayed where he was, eyes fixed on something far in the distance. Then he scrambled to his feet and raced after her. Krystal’s head was down, protected by the thin material of her hoodie, eyes on the pavement. He’s still there, though, eyes burning through the cotton. Silent treatment time. She’d see how he fared with a one-way conversation.

He seemed happy to say nothing though, so they stomped to the river in silence. There’s a shop, just past Embankment tube that sells cheap sandwiches after lunch, cheaper to people like her. She was still trying to ignore him, but he followed anyway.

Someone shouted, but it couldn’t be aimed at her. She’d not done anything to the best of her knowledge. It was though. Somehow she knew the voice was calling her and her alone. With a grunt, she slowed and peered out the corner of her hoodie. It’s some guy selling flowers. He waved at her and despite all her natural instincts, she wandered over.

‘Yeah?’

‘Hello young lady, how are you today?’

She examined him. Was he for real? Weird face, like his skin can’t decide where to sit. She wasn’t sure about the eyes either. They’d either give you a tenner note or drag you down an alley and beat you to death just for the fun of it. Nice smile though. Krystal stared for a moment before deciding he was in the tenner-note mood.

‘Yeah, alright. Had some tea, got enough for lunch.’

‘Well that is splendid. And who’s this?’

‘Ed.’

‘Hello, Ed, how are you?’

‘Vengeful.’ She answered for him. Ed squirmed beneath both their gazes before shrugging.

‘What she said.’

‘I see. Well, I apologise, but my gift is for Krystal. Wo—’

‘How d’you know my name? Who the hell are you?’

The flower seller smiled again and she relaxed, just a little. What was going on? This guy was a snake. That, or a stalker. Since when did homeless people get stalkers? She tried again. ‘How did you know my name?’

‘How can I have a present for you if I don’t know your name?’

‘That isn’t an answer.’

He nodded and smiled again and she realised he wasn’t going to say anything else. She could either walk away and hope he isn’t enough of a psycho to follow, or wait and see what the present is. It’s been a while since she’s had a present.

‘Yeah, what’s the present then?’

With a flourish, he pulled a single red rose out from a bunch on the front of the stall and handed it to her. The smell hit her before she wrapped careful fingers around it. For a brief moment, the scent takes her away. She’s sat in a penthouse, staring out over the city. She’s wearing new clothes that don’t scratch or have holes in and the whole flat smells like the rose. The popping sound makes her glance over at the open plan kitchen and she sees a coffee percolator coughing away to itself.

She breathes out and is back on Embankment. It’s like being punched in the gut, only without… actually, it’s like being punched in the gut. She glared at the flower seller.

‘Why you giving this to me?’

‘I thought you might need it, a little hope now and then.’

‘Yeah, that and then some. Thanks, I suppose.’

He nodded and smiled. ‘Remember, the greatest gifts are those you give away.’

She opened her mouth to respond but he’s already rushing over to a young couple standing by the stall. She looked at the rose and shook her head. Lunch time.

Next Installment Thursday 26th June

Part One is here

Wednesday – Krystal Part One

They were talking again. She rolled over to face the wall and stuffed her jumper over her ears, but it didn’t cut out the noise. She lay still, every muscle in her body tight as a guitar string. She could scream. Any moment she’d lose it and scream.

She rolled over and peered through the darkness. ‘Please, shut up. Please.’

The voices ceased and the silence was sudden and complete. Others in the room shifted and turned over. No one spoke. She heard covers flicked back and the pad of feet on the floor. Krystal pushed herself back against the wall as far from the edge of her bunk as possible. It didn’t help.

A hand came in, grasping and groping and it grabbed her arm and yanked hard. She whimpered but bit her lip. She wouldn’t say anything, she couldn’t. They wouldn’t let her back if she made trouble.

She tumbled onto the floor and thanked whatever crappy excuse there was for a god that she’d gotten the bottom bunk. He pulled her up and hissed in her ear.

‘I’ll speak when I fucking well want to.’ The ‘want’ was accompanied by a fist in her gut and she dropped to her knees, gasping, tears streaming. She’d expected him to go for the face. She’d seen him before, with others, and it had always been the face. She hadn’t been ready for the stomach.

He padded away and she crawled onto her bunk. As she stifled the low sounds of her crying, the silence grew deeper. They all knew. They’d all give her sympathetic looks in the morning, but none of them would say anything. None of them would stand up for her. Just like she’d never stood up for them.

She pulled her jumper back over her head and sobbed into the thin mattress until sleep came.

He was gone when she woke up. He normally was. On the bunk below his, last night’s conquest lay curled in a ball. His hair was long, around his shoulders and covering his face, but his bare shoulder showed the marks from his fingers.

Krystal slipped from her bed and scampered across to him. She could feel the others watching her, but every one of them avoided her eyes when she crossed the room. She knelt beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. He flinched away, scurrying back in his bunk and she had a sudden vision of what she must have looked like last night.

‘I’m sorry.’

Why was she sorry? Because she didn’t do more? Because she’d leave this morning and not say anything to anyone? Or just because he’d been hurt far worse than she had and there was no one else who’d say sorry? Didn’t matter. It didn’t mean anything anyway.

A solitary eye peered at her from beneath his hair. His black locks shone beneath the dirty light coming in through the high windows. The shine was grease.

‘Why are you sorry?’

Ah crap. ‘Dunno. Just am, ‘spose.’

A thin sound that sat midway between crying and laughing emerged from him and he scooted his legs out and onto the floor. He winced as he sat up and she stared as his mouth went through strange contortions that ended with it curled down at the edges and shaking.

He was trying so hard not to cry and she held her breath. It was a relief when he let himself go and she wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He buried his filthy hair into her arm pit and howled. She stared at the others in the room, who in turn stared back, everyone asking her the same question.

What now?

That was easy. Extricate herself as quick as damned well possible and get away from here. She wanted to ask the kid where He’d gone, but he was as likely to know as any of them. There were only four hostels in this part of London and he could turn up at any one of them, any night of the week.

The weather had turned at the weekend, so maybe she should take it outside again. Krystal always preferred sleeping outside, but there were late frosts and she valued her toes too much. A punch in the stomach wasn’t much to take. Not compared to what the boy sobbing in her armpit had been through. But He only went for boys and there wasn’t anyone else around to scare her off.

His name was Dawid. He didn’t speak English, or not as much as most of the others. But he was persuasive and had the same kind of language as the police. He could convince you your world was tiny. Wasn’t difficult with most of them. Once you knew your world was a few streets and a few rooms like this and no one cared, you’d do whatever he wanted if it meant he’d leave you alone.

Krystal had been here long enough to know that wasn’t true. She vaguely remembered from when she’d gone to school that it was called a stay of execution. They were all on death row, every bloody last one of them. And Dawid was the vindictive guard with the night stick and the technique that left no bruises.

The sobs died down and she fidgeted. She extricated herself and patted his shoulder and slunk out the room. She checked her locker on the way past, relieved to find it un-screwed with, and headed for the bathroom. She needed a shower today, however much she didn’t want to have one.

The bathroom was empty and she dived in and showered as fast as humanly possible. By some stroke of luck, the room stayed empty. Maybe she’d earned it with her gut punch yesterday. Her belly was sore but he hadn’t done anything permanent. She weed, watching the dirty yellow run away with the shower water. It didn’t hurt, so that was a bonus.

She peered in the mirror. She needed a hair cut. She kept it short, bobbed around her ears. Quicker to wash and less likely to attract the men. Boys, whatever. She looked a bit like a boy and they left her alone. Not that she was likely to attract them anyway. She could feel her ribs through her t-shirt and her hip bones against her jeans. Her face was the same, cheek bones pressing through the skin, beneath her red-ringed, cold-blue eyes.

They were striking. She’d been told that before. It was why she kept them trained on the ground as much as possible. That was the problem with sleeping out of course. When people saw the eyes they got ideas. And some of her friends had disappeared recently. The vans were out, looking for girls. She knew where they went.

She shivered and wrapped her towel around herself. Her lips barely showed against her skin, thin and chapped and pressed hard together. Krystal flung on her clothes, grabbed her bag from her locker and headed out front. Mrs Ely wasn’t in. Probably out getting breakfast. She thought about staying for it and her stomach growled. Maybe she would. Fresh air first though.

She stepped out the door, keeping one foot in so it didn’t security lock and stared up at the sun. Third clear sky in a row and warm enough at eight in the morning to not need her jacket. Her lips curled up at the edges and she felt a twinge at the unusual movement.

‘Thought you hadn’t left yet. Can we talk?’

She jumped and put her hands up. Her foot slid free of the door and she swore and turned on the speaker. The long haired boy stared at her between his curtains and blushed.

‘Sorry, didn’t mean to, but you know, you were nice to me.’

‘Yeah, my mistake.’

Krystal looked back up at the sky and shook her head. Would it hurt? Not as much as he did, in all likelihood. ‘Yeah, we can talk. Soon as you make sure Mrs Ely gives us some breakfast.’

‘Yeah, sure, of course, thanks.’

He nodded like a labrador and she groaned inwardly. What was he, twelve, thirteen? They stood in awkward silence while they waited for Mrs Ely to return. What was she supposed to say? ‘Hey. So, you got raped last night. Come here often?’

Not a moment too soon, Mrs Ely bustled down the pavement and waved at them both. ‘Out early today.’

‘Yeah, not supposed to be. Any chance of breakfast please?’

She cast a glare at the boy who had the good grace to look sheepish, but the warden waved them through the door and she sat gratefully in the large room that counted as a dining space. Ten minutes later she clung to her polystyrene cup of tea with both hands, drinking in the smell like the elixir of life. The boy ate nothing.

She found out he was called Ed and this was his first summer on the streets. Tough start. Though not as bad as what he’d had at home from the sounds of it. Still, he sounded pretty posh, so can’t have been all bad.

‘You said you wanted to talk.’

‘Um, yeah. So, last night…’

Krystal put her cup on the table, leaned back and folded her arms. He wanted to talk about that. God, she’d given him a hug, that was all. She wasn’t some bloody agony aunt.

‘Look, I’m sorry about last night, but talking to me about it ain’t gonna help.’

‘He punched you.’

It wasn’t a question. ‘Yeah.’

‘Was it the first time?’

‘For me? Yeah.’

‘For others?’

‘Nah.’

‘He shouldn’t be doing that.’

‘What, punching me? That’s what you’re worried about?’

‘Of course not. He shouldn’t have…done what he did to me either, but punching girls, that’s just wrong.’

‘That’s wrong?’

She tried to keep the incredulity out of her voice. He was serious, he was actually serious. Of all the things Dawid was guilty of, Ed was most worried about him hitting girls. And he’d hadn’t seen the half of it. The bastard broke someones jaw the other week, punched her so hard she swallowed two of her teeth. Krystal’d got off lightly and she knew it.

He was staring at her, all earnest and young and she groaned and nodded. ‘Yeah, it’s wrong. Punching girls and not saying please and not covering your mouth when you sneeze, it’s all wrong, what’s the point?’

‘I’m going to kill him.’

Next Installment Monday 23rd June

Part One is here

Tuesday – Bayleigh Part two

What just happened? She stuck her nose in the bunch of roses and took a deep sniff. Who cared? It was like carrying all her fantasies in her hand, a million and one romantic holidays on the French Riviera. How did he make them smell so nice?

The shop would smell amazing. Shame they were only open for another hour or so, but it was better than nothing. And then she could take them home. Dad might like them. Well, she wouldn’t take them all home. Layla could have a few and there were thirteen, which was never a good number, so she’d do what the flower seller suggested and give one away.

Bayleigh kept her eyes open all the way back to the shop, but spotted no one who looked needy. Maybe it was because of the roses, but everyone looked happier today. There were none of the usual long faces. Tuesday was the worst day in town, when the week stretched away into the distance and everyone was tired from Monday.

She strolled into the shop and Layla gasped. ‘What happened to you?’

‘Oh, um, I bought them.’

Layla’s face dropped. ‘So some handsome Italian in a sports car din’t give them to you?’

Bayleigh shook her head sadly and grinned. ‘Sorry.’

Layla bustled away into the back and emerged with two vases. They split the flowers in half and soon the shop came alive with the red.

The afternoon was always dead. When she first opened, Bayleigh had closed up straight after lunch. But in this part of town there were always people who wanted food. The afternoon slot was a good way to get rid of the bits they used to throw. She’d always rather someone ate them than put perfectly good sandwiches in the bin.

As she made up the remainder of the sandwiches and stuck the little ‘sale’ flags in, her mind drifted. She went from thinking about Ali to the bank account. She’d checked it last week, for the first time in months. There was almost thirty grand in there. That would keep her for a year, which was more than enough time to set up again.

The magazines were under her bed, stashed safely away. Not that Dad ever went in her bedroom, but she couldn’t help feeling paranoid. What would he do if he found them?

She shuddered and shook her head. He wouldn’t know what they meant anyway. He barely knew her name most days. They’d look after him. The services. They would. She sniffed. The same pointless argument had been going round and round her brain for the last three years. They would look after him, she didn’t doubt that.

But it wasn’t that she was arguing over. She was leaving him, without a goodbye, after thirty six years. And leaving him to the institution, to the same cream rooms and long corridors he’d begged her to rescue him from when it happened. It had been easier then.

She’d had a job that paid five times what she earned now and she’d been younger and— stop it. That was rubbish. It wasn’t any easier then. But her heart had got harder and she’d got tired. That was the truth of it. Three years ago she’d been ready to collapse. All that kept her going now was a folder full of bank statements and a bunch of glossy travel magazines and estate agent brochures.

She blinked. Between her hands was a sandwich bearing eleven sale signs. With a sigh she yanked them out and threw it in the bin. She looked straight ahead at the roses and sniffed. Maybe the thirteenth rose was for dad. Between the gorgeous petals she watched the door open and a woman come in.

Her eyes were red and her pretty dark hair was all over the shop. Bayleigh took a few seconds to decide whether it was deliberate, but the absence of make up and the lack of jacket made her think not. She had lovely lips, red and full and enough to stir just the tiniest spark of jealousy in her.

The woman stomped up to the counter, stared blankly at the sandwiches and snuffled. She was about to burst into tears! Bayleigh dashed around the counter and put her arm around her shoulders. The woman gave her a pathetically-grateful look and sniffed again, eyes swimming. She took a few deep breaths and gently shook the arm off.

Bayleigh gave her a smile and went back around the counter.

‘Thanks. Sorry.’

‘It’s fine, really. What can I get you?’

‘Oh god, I don’t know. A new life?’

Bayleigh blushed and shifted from foot to foot. This was unusual conversation for the afternoon crowd. This was, in fact, unusual conversation for the shop in general. What was she supposed to say? I’ve heard Coronation Chicken can help with that?

‘Sorry. Again. Um, can I get the mozzarella and basil one please. And do you have any…’ she trailed off and burst into tears. This was even tougher. Bayleigh had already offered the embrace. Should she do so again? She froze and watched this complete stranger break down on the other side of the counter.

‘Um, do you want to talk about it?’

The sobs subsided. ‘What’s there to talk about? There’s a guy’ – Ahh, that made sense – ‘and he’s amazing, but I’ve always wondered and when he came over yesterday I got something from his pockets and I found his wedding ring.’

The tears came again, accompanied by huge sobs and now Bayleigh did head around the counter. She wrapped her in plastic-gloved hands and hugged until the crying slowed. The last pieces of the story came between choked sobs.

‘And now I’m calling and texting but there’s no answer. There’s not even a tone, it’s like he’s disconnected his phone.’

There were a thousand things she could say, but none of them were the right thing, so she kept her mouth shut. Timing the release would be tricky. Fortunately, Layla came back in from getting her lunch and gave her the opening. She stepped back behind the counter as Layla did the same and they shared a glance.

Layla set her lunch to one side and set about making coffee. Twenty minutes later the woman left, looking considerably calmer and bearing food. She also took with her one red rose. She’d looked at it as thought Bayleigh was offering her a snake and shaken her head.

‘Please. It’s a spare and I think you need it more than anyone.’

The woman still hesitated, but finally took it and managed a smile before she left. Now the door was locked, the till was counted and Layla stood by the door.

‘Here, you want some roses?’

Layla’s face lit up and she rushed over. ‘Thought you’d never ask. So, you seeing Ali tonight?’

‘No, no. Dad’s movie night tonight.’

‘Ooh, what you watching?’

Bayleigh laughed, though it came from her head not her heart. ‘Same as always, first hour of Jungle book.’

Layla started to laugh and stopped herself. She turned away, clearing her throat. She was amazing about Dad, talked about him like a normal person. Bayleigh thought every now and then she probably forgot he wasn’t. Easy when you didn’t look after him, twenty four seven.

‘So, I’ll see you tomorrow then, yeah?’

Bayleigh shook herself and forced a smile. ‘Yeah. Thanks for today, see you.’

The door banged shut and Bayleigh was alone in the darkening shop. She stared at the six roses in her hand and took a deep breath. They were beautiful. She pressed the alarm code and headed for the door. She pulled it shut and locked it and turned to the Thames. She had to get home.

But her feet led her down past the offices and shops to the river where she paused. The flower seller was gone and where his stall stood there was a space, like an absence that stole her breath. She walked around the space and leaned against the railings. The water taxis were in full swing, charging up and down the Thames, lights beginning to show against the darkening sky.

Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out. It was the nurse’s number and she groaned. She was heading for the station before she answered it.

‘Yes?’

‘Bayleigh?’

‘Yes, how is he.’

‘Bayleigh, I’m sorry, are you alone?’

‘I’m walking to the tube station. Why?’

‘You might want to find a bench to sit on.’

Her scalp went cold before sweat sprung up on it. She resisted the urge to scrub her hand through it and stopped walking.

‘What is it?’

‘Bayleigh, I’m sorry, but your father passed away about five minutes ago.’

‘He… what?’

‘Your father passed away. He had a heart attack. Very sudden and very strong and he went before I could even begin procedures.’

‘Procedures?’

‘Resuscitation. I would have tried resuscitation.’

‘Why?’

‘I’m sorry?’

‘Why would you try that? He’s spent twenty years in misery, why the hell would you try to bring him back?’

‘Bayleigh, I understand that you’re upset.’

The nurse went on, explaining that dad would be taken away before she got home and that she’d have to contact the local crematorium to see the body and arrange the funeral. The voice went on and on and at some point she must have said thanks and hung up because when she came to she was back at the river.

He was dead. Twenty years and he was finally dead. She tried to find some grief, tried to pretend that the tears rolling down her face were for him and not her. Her left hand was clutched tight around the roses and she had to prise it apart with her right. The thorns had dug deep and little welts of blood appeared on her palm as she lifted the roses out.

She pushed her nose into them. They smelled amazing and they covered the smile that broke through the tears. One by one, she tossed them into the Thames and watched them drift away. She turned and walked back to the station.

Interlude

Finally. That had been easier than he’d expected. Funny how so many of the subjects didn’t want to be on the edge. All it took was a nudge and maybe a bit of mercy killing and they were saved. He actually had a lump in his throat, watching her stride back to the station.

She wouldn’t notice herself, but her shoulders had fallen from their place up around her ears. The muscles would ache tomorrow and she wouldn’t know why.

One from two so far this week. Not bad and certainly better than he’d expected after yesterday. The flower seller sat at his desk, pulled the window closed and focused on the list that lay before him. He had to pick tomorrow’s subject.

The first subject he glanced at entranced him and he read it three times, smile getting bigger every time. He could do this one. This was made for him. He just had to find the right trigger. He read further and thumped the desk with his spare hand. Beer time. With a satisfied sigh, he flicked the lamp off, walked to the edge and jumped.

Next Installment Thursday 19th June

Part One is here

Tuesday – Bayleigh Part One

They were just flowers. He was there every day and every day she slowed as she walked past and took deep breaths and carried the smell with her all the way to the shop. Every day she thought, ‘I’ll buy some today.’ And every day she walked past without buying them.

But every month when she checked the bank statement she was happy she’d resisted. Because every month a little more money went into the account and she moved one step closer.

Today was particularly difficult. There were roses, the most beautiful red roses, that smelled like a holiday and were the colour of romance and belonged on a table in a tiny cafe in Paris. She would sit and smell them, her dyed-blond hair tied up atop her head. Her too-thin lips would be made full through the arty application of lipstick that matched the petals and brought out the green in her eyes. A gorgeous man in tight jeans would part them and lean through and murmur how much he loved her tiny snub nose as their lips pressed together.

She shivered, turned her eyes from the stall and breathed deep. The morning traffic was thin on the ground when she opened the shop and went in. The alarm beeped a good morning and she scampered to the back and punched in the code. She imagined, as she did at least once a week, that she’d just prevented the explosion of a number of bombs placed all over London. With her simple action, she averted a terrible crisis.

The front door binged and Ali bustled in, the scent of freshly-baked bread coming with him.

‘Mornin’ Bay, you’re late today?’

The question was almost buried beneath the normal jovial tone. Almost, but not quite. She blushed, knowing full well why he asked. ‘Bed was comfy this morning.’

‘Don’t know how a big bed like that can be comfortable. You must get cold.’

If he hadn’t shared that bed a few times in the last month, it would be harassment. As it was, it sent butterflies through her stomach and made her cheeks even hotter. ‘I get hot when I sleep, normally throw the covers off altogether.’

She turned as he thumped the first crate down on the counter. He strolled down the shop. The sides of his hands were still covered in flour and he smelled like his bread. She took a deep breath, the smell of roses replaced with the scent of fantasies made real.

‘We can make it hotter, if you like.’

She giggled and walked past him, brushing against him just enough for her to shiver and slow. He would grab her and spin her around, his flour leaving marks on her arms. He’d push her back against the glass cabinets and force his tongue into her mouth. He didn’t though.

Which was a good thing because the door binged again and Layla walked in, giving them both a cheery ‘morning’ before disappearing into the back. Somehow, Bayleigh’s cheeks grew hotter still and she rushed behind the counter, putting a safe distance between them.

‘Well, you know, offer’s there. Let me get the rest.’

Ali strolled from the shop and Layla appeared from the back, apron on and hair tied up. ‘You two still shagging, then?’

Bayleigh gasped and frowned at her. Layla, completely oblivious, opened the till and began to sort the money from the safe. ‘Not that I’m prying or nothing, just think you could do a lot worse. And, you know, he knows about Jeff and everything.’

He did and that was worth more than his kindness or his strong arms and soft hands. He didn’t know about the bank account though. No one knew about that and no one would, not until it was too late.

Layla was staring at her, waiting for an answer. Had she asked a question? Not really, but she’d still want an answer. Bayleigh blinked, then twined her finger in her hair and blushed, shrugging. ‘Yeah, maybe. I dunno. He’s nice and all, but—’

‘But what? What you waiting for? Bay, you know I love you, but you ain’t gonna do much better, not with… well, yeah, you know.’

Bayleigh nodded. It was all true. She set about opening the shop and Layla took the hint. The lights went on and soon the place was filled with people. The coffee machine set up the symphony, accompanied by the sounds of workers and the steady thumps of the fridge door and the clink of the knife. Lunches were made and sold and eaten or taken away and the day went on and before she’d taken a breath, it was lunch time.

The rush ended and she slipped out of the apron and headed for some fresh air. She strolled down Embankment, mind drifting. There’d been a couple in this morning, tourists choosing the independent sandwich shop instead of Macdonalds. They’d been arguing over whether to go to the Planetarium or Madame Tussauds and as always, Bayleigh had been dragged back.

Dad had taken her to the Planetarium, not long after mum died. They’d sat and stared up at the lights and he’d reached out and taken her hand. It had been quiet in there, but even so it had taken her a few moments to work out he was crying. She’d never heard him cry before and it still haunted her.

He sounded broken, like he was supposed to be crying properly, but every time he sobbed something clicked and he stopped for a second and started again. They sat in the darkness for ages and all she was aware of was the sound of her father falling apart. When they left he apologised and said he’d take her again, and the thought of ever going back in there made her burst into tears.

Funny how something so simple can be so vivid after twenty years. He cried a lot now. She preferred it to the screaming. And the laughter. The laughter was the worst. Twenty years ago he’d only sounded broken. Now he was. Layla was right. Ali had met dad and knew what she lived with and was alright with it. He was better than alright. He’d even read to him once or twice.

She smiled, blinking away the tears. He couldn’t read for toffee, but dad didn’t mind. It was the sound of a voice, she thought, more than what it was saying.

She heaved a huge sigh, shoulders rising and falling. She stopped, put her hands on the black iron railings, and took a few deeps breaths. Nothing like fresh Thames air to clean the mind. She smiled again and shook her head.

A different smell caught her nostrils and she was dragged from the railing. She ambled over, pretending she had some say in the matter and found herself standing before the flowers. They were beautiful, so beautiful and she unfocused her eyes until all she could see was colour.

A throat being cleared made her jump.

‘Good morning, madam, can I interest you in anything particular?’

She jumped and put a hand to her throat, self-conscious. He sounded like a politician. His eyes were dark and seemed to smile at her. In fact, all of him smiled at her and it felt real.

‘Thanks, no, just looking. You always have such beautiful flowers.’

‘Well thank you, that’s very kind of you to say so. You have to get there first, that’s all.’

‘Sorry?’

‘The wholesaler. You have to get to the wholesaler before anyone else and you get the best bunches. Are you sure you won’t buy something, they’d be lovely in your shop.’

‘My shop? How do you know…’

She trailed off as he pointed one neatly manicured finger at her t-shirt. ‘The Sandwich Bay’ was surrounded by smiling faces. She’d designed them herself and was as proud now as she’d been five years ago. She blushed and smiled weakly.

‘I like the design. It fits very well in London, doesn’t it, so inclusive.’

She blushed again and examined her feet.

‘Tell you what. Let me see if I can’t find you a bargain—’

‘Oh no, I can’t, really, I don’t have the money.’

‘I’m sure I can find something in your budget. How about the roses?’

Next Installment Monday 14th June

Part One is here

Monday – David Part Three

David fell off the railing and landed on his arse on the concrete. He lay back and screamed until his throat gave out. The sky above was clear and the stars peeked through the light pollution, mocking him with their silent regard. Maybe everyone was out there. Maybe they were all on the moon, looking down at him and pointing and laughing.

He rolled onto his side and put a hand over his face. The floor was cold. He slept.

He woke once in the night and the sound of the Thames rushing below the bridge was so loud it made him jump. It faded just as quickly as he realised there was nothing else. He clammed his eyes shut and rubbed his face with the heel of his palm and waited. The waiting lasted forever and every second was filled with the silence but eventually, he went back to sleep.

He woke to sunlight creeping over the OXO tower and prying into his eyes. It seemed to welcome him back, as though he’d stood on the edge of death and been pulled away at the last moment.

He stood, feeling better than he had in days. Then the pain hit and the silence hit and he crumpled to the floor. He was pathetic. He couldn’t even end it when the end was coming anyway. Why was he here?

It was the first time he’d asked himself that and it surprised him enough that he stopped shaking and sat up. The movement sent pain through his shoulder, spasms running up and down his back. He could barely move his arm. His throat was clogged and filled with gunk and he hawked and spat over the edge.

Why was he here? The flower seller had given him roses for his wife and he’d given them to Steph. That was bloody stupid. He was in hell all because some weirdo got on his high horse. The word God floated through his mind and he snorted. Weirdo with some serious mojo was nearer the truth. Actually, was there much of a difference?

He wasn’t in hell. Hell didn’t exist, although he decided the guy who invented the whole fire and brimstone thing was a bit lacking in imagination. This was some kind of altered reality. Maybe there were drugs in the roses, something he smelled that made him think this was all happening. Or maybe he was strapped in, Matrix-style, to some giant computer. It was fake either way.

But he felt sick, there was no denying that. They could do anything with computers these days though. He sniffed and pulled himself up the railings. It all felt so real. Well, if there was no one here, there was no one to stop him doing anything he liked. There was an Aston Martin garage in Kensington.

With his first smile in twenty four hours, David made his slow way over the bridge.

Doing ninety down Oxford Street was as much fun as he’d imagined. As was going on a shopping spree around Harrods and raiding the ice cream parlour. But every time he paused, the silence came flooding back like the tide running up the beach.

After a couple of days of living like a Sultan, it began to wear thin. There was no TV, no one to cook anything, no one to do anything with or to. And the silence kept coming.

After a week, he took to talking to himself, loudly commentating everything he did. But his throat was hoarse and he soon ran out of words. He was supposed to be dying, but the sickness had frozen where it was, leaving him washed out and snotty all the time.

Everything had frozen. His beard stopped growing and his hunger soon went away. And after a couple of weeks, he found himself back before the flower stall. The flowers were still in bloom, bright and beautiful and the only things that smelled of anything anymore. He sucked in the aromas, clinging to that one small sign of his previous life.

His mind wandered. His thoughts became simple, images that meant nothing. He spoke out loud now and then, but the words no longer made sense. They were just sounds, with no one to hear them. His sleep dried up as well. He did everything he could to exhaust himself, but he’d fall into a light sleep that would last only a couple of hours at most before he woke.

The flower stall became his refuge and it was just as he was trying to remember why, that someone appeared. In the dim recesses of his memory, in the part that still worked, he recognised the man as the flower seller. But he saw much more now. He saw the light surrounding him and the darkness hiding behind it.

‘Hello, David, how are you?’

He stared blankly at the man, waiting for this David person to reply. When no one did, he thought that perhaps he was David. How was he? He shook his head, mouth hanging open and the man smiled.

‘Have you learned?’

‘Learned?’

‘Why are you here, David?’

‘Roses. Something, there were roses.’

The man sighed and shook his head. ‘Perhaps I left it too long. No, it shouldn’t have happened this quickly.’

He leaned closer, pursing up his lips. Finally he spoke. ‘When you wake, examine your life. And if you are in doubt, remember that you can always come back to this place.’

The flower seller took careful steps backward to stand beside his stall. There he froze and the scene faded until David stared at the blackness and wondered why he was suddenly so warm. He reached out a hand and pressed it against warm flesh.

The person sighed and rolled over, dislodging his hand and his eyes flew open. The first thing he saw was the bedside clock, the numbers 5:32 glowing gently in the darkness. Almost time for work. He blinked, expecting to drift back off. But he felt oddly awake and stretched, reveling in not feeling crappy at half five in the morning.

Amber rolled over again and he stared at her face as it came into view. How had he ever loved her? Just the sight of her grated and made him want to leap from the bed. With a grunt he rolled back to stare at the alarm clock. There was something on top of it and he reached out a hand.

He hissed as his fingers closed around something sharp. He jerked them away, then took it more gently and lifted it to his face. It was a rose, a single red rose and it smelled wonderful. It made him think of Steph. He reached for his phone then looked again at the time. She wouldn’t thank him. Maybe he’d text her on the way to the station.

As he stepped into the shower, he wondered where the rose had come from. A voice inside told him he knew exactly where it had come from, but he couldn’t remember. Didn’t matter. Dammit, the shower was bloody freezing. When he stepped out of the house, he didn’t notice the silence. It was only when he reached the train station and found it dark and empty, that it came flooding back.

Interlude

That was a shame. He’d expected more. Some people just weren’t ready to change. Now that sounded like he was making excuses. It was another in Purg though and they all had to be accounted for. Which meant more paperwork.

Was he losing his touch? The last three had all gone to the dogs and he thought his choices were perfect. Maybe he should listen to Seph and do what he suggested. Take the easy ones, get your quota, and get ambitious at the end of the month when it wasn’t so important.

But that didn’t work. What was the point if they weren’t on the edge? And there didn’t seem to be any easy ones. There were easier and harder, but no shoe-ins. That wasn’t how Seph told it though. To listen to him over a beer, he was swimming in easy subjects, lining them up and knocking them down.

Luke picked up his list and stared at it. Were they getting the same list? Several names faded in the minute he looked at it, so they were working from the same sheets. Was he losing his touch?

He swung around in his chair and gazed out the back of his chamber. The Flights were quiet. Most of them were still at work and the rest down at the Dome. He peered over the edge and stared down through the stars, past the thousands of chambers to the Dome. He could go for a beer.

His eyes were heavy though. Keeping David in Purg for that long without the Engine was hard work. He’d rest and start again tomorrow.

Bayleigh’s story begins Thursday 12th June