Part One is here

Interlude – The Flower Seller Part One

They’d tricked him. Somehow, they’d tricked him. The list made it quite clear which direction was the right one and he’d steered Alex expertly. Now the Seer was telling him his latest subject was going to help destroy the world.

How was that the right direction? He was supposed to be a guardian, a protector of the world. Instead he’d scared one man into making a decision that would bring the most terrible pain to every living soul on Earth. A small part, almost too quiet to hear, giggled.

And what about the others? He peered out at the thousands of chambers. In a few decades, they’d all be out of a job. That wasn’t going to be popular, particularly with the other angels who’d spent the last however-many thousand years trying to make things better.

The flower seller dropped the list and stalked across his chamber. He stepped out and dropped. The Dome of the Father grew bigger as he fell, imposing and, as always, faintly reminiscent of a huge breast. His wings caught the currents and he soared and turned until he reached the entrance. It was busy today.

He squeezed past a couple of goat-footed demons and headed for the bar. Seph would be there by now, as would Az. They should be the first to know. Truth was, they were the only two in here who might be able to hear it without attacking him. Being made of pure energy meant no dying, but pain was in plentiful supply.

The bar was heaving, the conversation high and he stopped at the door. Something was already happening. There was a buzz in the place, more than usual. Herc ambled over and gave him a nod of his enormous, ram-shaped head. ‘Evening, Luke.’

‘Hi Herc, what’s going on?’

‘You haven’t heard?’ He had an impressive rumble to his voice. ‘The Father is coming to visit.’

The flower seller, Luke, went cold and shivered. Rubbing his upper arms, he raised an eyebrow and strove to keep his voice steady. ‘Why’s that?’

‘Big news, apparently.’

‘Oh.’ The goosebumps racing up his arms faded and he relaxed. ‘Any idea what?’

Herc shook his massive head. ‘Not a clue, you know they don’t tell me anything. You’ll know when it happens though, don’t worry.’

Luke gave him a nod and sidled through the door, picking his way through the crowds until he reached their table. As suspected, Seph and Az were there. Az had his head down and scratched furiously between his horns, mussing the dark hair that sprouted there. As always, Luke resisted the urge to have a go himself.

Seph raised an eyebrow and waved to a seat, pouring him a drink from the massive jug dominating the table.

‘Join us, please. We have so much to celebrate.’

‘You do?’

‘But of course, my fine friend. Today, I cleared my week. Four-two up with a day in hand. Az brought quite astonishing pain and suffering and started a war. Between us, we’ve kept the balance very nicely. I do so like to think of us as a microcosm of the world down there.’

‘So what am I?’

‘Ah, you, my friend, are the random. You’re the thing that no one expects. How’s your week?’

Luke shook his head, staring down into the dark liquid thrust before him. ‘I don’t know. I think I’m three-three with all to play for, but, well…’

Az heard the note in his voice and raised his head. His thin yellow eyes always seemed to see more than the others. It was why he was so unpopular. That and the eight feet of muscled red demon that came out when he got particularly drunk or angry.

‘Yes?’

Luke held up both hands, beginning to think this wasn’t such a good idea. ‘Well, I think I ended the world.’

‘Oh.’ Az took a long swig of his drink, put his head back down and resumed scratching. His voice was muffled from where he talked to the table. ‘I think that at least once a week. It’s not a good week when I don’t.’

‘Yeah, but you’re a demon, you’re supposed to think that. I’m not.’

‘You did once.’

‘Yeah, well, people change.’ Luke glared at the top of Az’s head and looked back at Seph. His friend frowned and leaned forward. ‘What did you do?’

‘What I was supposed to.’ His voice took on that annoyingly-petulant tone father had warned him about, but he couldn’t help it. ‘The list said what saving meant so I did it.’

‘And?’

‘And I saved him. Only saving him meant letting his son be born, which meant the horrible crap he was supposed to do just got passed down to his son.’

‘And what horrible crap would that be?’

‘He’s invented a, I don’t know, serum or something, it’s like a gas. It turns everyone who comes anywhere near it into zombies.’

Seph raised an eyebrow and chuckled. ‘Zombies? Like real, Romero zombies?’

‘Exactly, only I think they’re closer to 28 days zombies. I’ve only been given glimpses. We’ve got a few decades.’

‘A few?’

‘Well, about thirty years I think.’

‘Oh, well, in that case, drink up.’

He topped up his cup and Luke stared despondently into it. What the hell. He tipped it back and slouched, staring at the wall. He hated sitting this side of the table and with a grunt, got up and switched around, pushing Seph along so he could join him on the bench.

The room had got fuller in the last few minutes and they watched in silence. There was nothing like the bar when it got busy. In front of their table stood three women, none more than six or seven stone despite the wings emerging from their back. They were pale blue, with darker blue slashes on their faces and naked chests. They were tiny, every part of them miniature and delicate. Seraphims, possibly, though no one really knew anymore. Once the religions blended, no one could keep track of them.

Beyond them was an obvious one. A hugely fat guy with skin the colour of beaten bronze and a third eye in his forehead the size of a plate. He chuckled at something his angelic companion said and his rolls of fat shook like jelly. He turned to stare at Luke and his eyes were very different to his face, piercing and cold.

‘I know.’

Was that what he said? It looked like it but he’d already turned back to the angel, still chuckling. Luke shook his head and turned his attention back to the table. ‘What’s the Father coming down here for?’

Az snorted and sat up, stretching and rolling his shoulders, grooming finished for the moment. ‘The ‘Father’ has his reasons, I’m sure. Not that we’ll ever know them.’

Seph and Luke both looked at him, eyebrows raised in a strangely identical way. Az glanced from one to the other.

‘C’mon, you know the drill. He’ll make some grand proclamation about how we aren’t doing our jobs properly and bugger off. Then a few people’ll disappear and we’ll spend the next fifty years running from our shadows until everyone forgets.’

He had a point. Not a very nice one, but accurate. Luke nodded. ‘Yeah, fair enough. Who’s going to disappear?’

Both his friends leaned forward, eyes fixed on him.

Next Installment Thursday 24th July

Part One is here

Saturday – Alex Part Two

‘This is London. I’m sure you recognise it. It’s changed a little since you were last here.’

He raised his head and saw the flower seller tramping slowly up the steps from the street. What the hell? The roses were scattered around him. Some had gone over the barrier into the dark of the station. He started picking them up, futilely hoping he could get all twelve. There had been thirteen though, so maybe he could. Was this why the guy sold him the extra one?

‘What do you see, Alex?’

‘Roses.’

‘Look around you.’

He didn’t want to. He didn’t want to think about what he’d just seen. It was an execution, in broad daylight. Only it wasn’t broad daylight because of the smoke and the balloons.

‘What happened?’

‘Your son.’

‘What?’

‘All this could have been stopped. The plague would never have happened and the dead would never have walked, had he been here.’

‘Where was he?’

‘He never happened. You didn’t let him happen and so here we are, where those not ‘officially clean’ are hunted down by the soldiers of God.’

‘What do you mean…’ He trailed off. ‘Where am I?’

‘The future. Your future, to be precise.’

‘I’m not really here, am I?’

The flower seller cocked his head to one side, the friendly smile creeping back. ‘Impressive. Most don’t get outside the reality in which they find themselves. Why do you think that?’

‘Because I wasn’t here a minute ago.’

‘Are you sure?’

Alex laughed bitterly and held the few roses he managed to gather together before him. ‘You see anything else like this around? I just bought them from you and there’s no way you sold them to me here.’

The flower seller threw back his head and laughed. ‘That is true. Well spotted.’

‘Is it real at all?’

The flower seller lost the smile. ‘What do you think?’

Alex shrugged. ‘Dunno. Could be. Something like this’ll happen you know? Don’t think I’ll figure it out, but twenty, thirty years down the line, it’s gonna happen. Feels real.’

‘Well perhaps that is your answer. How else does it feel?’

‘Horrible. It feels horrible.’

The flower seller turned away and the light faded back in, like someone using a dimmer switch. He sat on a bench, the roses gripped tightly in one hand, Oyster card in the other. He blinked, squinting beneath the sunlight. The clouds were shifting and blue sky peeked through. He took a deep breath and stood.

The tube was close to empty at half ten in the morning. He looked at the message on his phone again and felt something clasp around his heart. It was a boy. He didn’t know that of course. It wasn’t anything right now, just a foetus. His heart told him the truth of that lie in the next second and he noticed a tear drop onto the roses. It ran down the petal and into the heart of the rose, out of sight.

He took the long way round and every step sounded like a door shutting. What could he be? What could his son be? Did one cancel out the other? He wasn’t his son. He wasn’t anything, not yet. There was no religious issue here, having an abortion wasn’t killing anything.

But potential. The chance of something happening, or not happening. His foot caught on a paving slab and he stumbled and came up short. He thought of a question he should have asked in the future. Who created the plague?

‘Hey, are you there?’ He caught funny looks from the couple across the street. He shouted louder. ‘WHERE ARE YOU?’

Still no answer. Did it matter? If they had an abortion his son wouldn’t stop the plague. Assuming any of it was real. But what if it was? He stopped before her front door, waiting. Something would come to him, some answer he hadn’t found. But there was nothing. No shining pathway to lead him to the truth.

He thought, in some vague way, he should be freaking out over what had happened. He tried to, but he could barely remember it, the details already fading. He could still picture the light though, the smog and the sickly pale sunlight that filtered through. And he could remember the balloons, like the shadows of falling gods.

He blinked and Lisa’s front door came back into focus. His life was stunted. A day ago his world could be anything, lead anywhere. Now he saw only drudgery. He knocked on the door and Lisa opened it. He handed her the flowers and she burst into tears.

‘Hey, come on, come on.’ He wrapped her up in his arms and they stood on the doorstep, roses poking awkwardly out from between them. Finally he took her indoors and made tea and they sat and planned where the money was going to come from and where they would live.

They lay side by side in the bed, Lisa’s breathing steady beside him. She’d always been able to sleep. He was seeing again the smile she wore when he said he’d stay and look after her. He had to focus on that, because his heart felt crushed beneath a weight to great to manage.

The boy arrived seven months later and grew up fast. Alex found his way into a job doing what he’d always wanted and the fears that plagued him in those days before the birth fell away. His son, Jason, was the joy in both their lives, even as they grew apart and went separate ways.

It was amicable, for the most part, and Alex found no sadness in having more time to devote to his research. It was made better by the ever-increasing interest of Jason in the same field. They worked together, once he was old enough, and he soon surpassed Alex, theorising things his father hadn’t even dreamed of.

Alex was a tenured professor, content and growing just a little lazy when Jason, thirty one and greedy for everything, burst into his office.

‘I’ve got it. Dad, I’ve got it, I’ve actually got it.’

Alex blinked and looked up from his paper. There was a familiar note in Jason’s voice, that of excitement and the surety that this time, he’d cracked it. As they pored over the paper together, Alex felt his stomach twist as it hadn’t done all the previous times. There was no way of knowing, not without testing, but it looked right. It felt right.

They did test it of course. The moment came months later, in the university labs after hours. The lights were off, save for the bench where they worked. They talked in hushed voices, though there was no need. The place was deserted at ten at night. They knew because they’d been here till then every night for the past six weeks.

With shaking hands, Jason put the test tube into the centrifuge and switched it on. They said nothing as they watched it turn. It slowed and Jason reached for it. Alex put a hand on his arm.

‘Wait. Just, wait.’

‘Dad, we’ve been through this. God, over and over again. There’s no harm in it.’

Alex laughed, a sound he’d heard once before. ‘There’s every harm in it. It’s harm in a test tube, pure, undiluted harm.’

‘But no one knows and no one will. Not unless we sell it.’

With those words, Alex went cold and took a step away. He grabbed Jason’s arm and swung him round. His son had that gleam in his eye, the same he’d worn most of his life that had made him so proud. It was drive, determination, all the things he and Lisa had put in him. It looked different now.

It looked like madness.

‘You can’t sell this.’

‘Of course not. The only people who would see this is the government, but we won’t tell them either.’

Alex took a breath and let go of Jason’s arm. His words helped, but the gleam was still there and he opened his mouth. What was the worst that could happen? He blinked and saw something in his mind’s eye. It was a balloon, floating low above him and rose petals dropped from it to rain upon him.

He blinked again and saw the test tube, rising slowly from the centrifuge. Jason carried it over to the bench and slipped the pipe into the cover. In their sealed glass tank, Jack and Jill scurried about in mousey-ignorance, blind to what was about to befall them.

Inside the test tube what looked like dirt-ridden smog twisted and turned. A wisp of it ran up the tube and emerged into the tank. Jill was nearest, though Alex was never sure which was which. She twitched, tiny nose wrinkling up, then her eyes rolled back and she collapsed with a soft thump to the cage floor.

Alex and Jason drew nearer, staring at the cage. Jack was still on the far side, away from the smoke. If the mix did what they thought it would, it was the worst place he could be. Jill twitched, nose wriggling. She rolled over and rolled back, tiny paws scratching at her fur. She climbed slowly to her feet.

They saw her eyes at the same time and the loudest noise in the laboratory was their joint gasps. They were red, every blood vessel burst and filling her eye. Then she moved, steadily and surely. The next thing he saw was her fastening her tiny teeth around her cage-mate’s head and squeezing and squeezing.

Jack squealed, a pathetic sound that cut off as his head caved in. Jill set to work, gnawing and chewing, pieces of undigested mouse falling from both sides of her mouth. She was greedy for something, but nothing was going down. Once he was reduced to a pile of half-masticated bits, Jill picked one at random and settled down to her dinner, chewing slowly.

Alex turned away, one hand pressed to his mouth. The hand shook and he saw the balloon again. He turned back to the test tube and pulled the pipe out.

‘We destroy this. We destroy the formula and all the research.’

‘Dad, we can’t. Look what we’ve done.’

‘I’VE SEEN WHAT WE’VE DONE! We destroy everything.’

His breath came in great gasps and he put a hand to his chest. ‘What have we done, god, what have we done?’

‘It’s the ultimate weapon. There’ll be no more wars. Dad, just think of it.’

‘We destroy it.’

‘You can’t. It’s not yours, it’s mine.’

Alex stared, his mouth open. Jason looked past him and he realised what he was doing just a second too late. His son dashed past and grabbed his notebook off the desk. He was out the door before Alex had even turned. He looked at the test tube clutched in his hand. He could smell roses.

Next Installment Monday 21st July

Part One is here

Saturday – Alex Part One

The wall hadn’t changed. He’d stared at it for hours now, but it was just the same. Every thing else had changed, but the wall was the same. If he looked at it long enough, perhaps everything else would follow and fall back into line.

He glanced at his phone. The screen was dark so he pressed the button. It faded back up and the message was still there and nothing would be the same again. He was lying to himself. The wall was different. Before it had just been a wall. Now it was a barrier.

Alex hauled himself out of the kitchen chair and slumped into the lounge. He flicked on the TV, grabbed a controller and spent more time than was healthy shooting things. When his thumbs started hurting, he tossed the controller to one side and looked at his phone again. Same message. Perhaps if he let it run out of battery, the message would go and he could pretend he hadn’t seen it.

He ran his nails across his scalp and groaned. It wouldn’t work. He opened the phone and went into his texts.

‘Hey. I’m pregnant.’

He lifted the phone, ready to throw it at the wall, then lowered it and laughed. It was a laugh that said more than words ever could. It was a horrible, cynical laugh that carried not a whit of humour and plenty of anger. But what had he to be angry about?

It was his fault. It was him who’d forgotten the condoms and him who’d pushed and pushed until she caved in. He didn’t even think he was surprised. He’d been a grumpy bastard for the last month and he wondered whether it wasn’t because he’d known, deep down, what was coming.

He started to type and stopped. He flicked to phone and called her.

‘Hey.’

‘Hey. Got your message.’

‘Yeah. Crazy huh?’

She sounded slightly hysterical, a little too high-pitched.

‘Yeah, that’s just the right word. What you gonna do?’

‘What do you mean, you?’

‘Well it’s your call, isn’t it?’

‘It’s our call, Alex, it’s our baby.’

‘It’s not a baby, not yet. It’s a, you know, foetus.’

‘Right, yeah. What do you want to do?’

‘It’s not about me, is it?’

‘Yeah, actually, it is.’

‘Well what do you want to do?’

‘It’s a baby, I—’

‘No it’s not.’

‘What do you want to do?’

‘I don’t want a baby. I don’t want to have kids. I’m sorry, I just don’t. We haven’t even finished Uni, it’s ridiculous.’

‘So you think we should get—’

‘Yeah.’

‘Right. What do we do?’

‘We go to the hospital, I think. Look, Lisa, I just think it’s too soon and we’re too young and—’

‘Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Yeah.’

The phone went dead and he stared at it. Had she hung up? It rang a second later and he jumped and dropped it. It slipped between the cushions and he swore and jumped onto the floor, dragging them off until he raised it triumphantly aloft.

‘Yeah, what happened?’

‘Sorry, just cut off, don’t know why. So, we go tomorrow?’

‘Yeah. I’ll come over yours.’

They sorted the time and he put the phone down. He reached for the controller and pressed start, but the bad guys had been planning and he died before he got anywhere.

He slept badly, waking up in pools of sweat and searching for a dry patch on the bed before drifting off again.

It was half five when he finally crawled out and into the shower. No point in lying there when he couldn’t sleep. He slipped out the house and got on the tube heading for central. The others thought he was weird, but there was nothing he liked better than getting into town before everyone else.

It was half six when he arrived and the rush hour traffic was already building up, but Embankment was quiet enough for him to think. He reached Temple when his phone buzzed.

‘I don’t want an abortion. Can you come over now?’

The phone shook as his hand tightened around it. He shoved it in his pocket. This time he could pretend he hadn’t seen it. He could go over to hers at the normal time and just pretend it got lost. He wasn’t having that conversation over the phone. And she was wrong. He stomped back toward the station and grabbed a hot chocolate.

Alex stared into the river at the swirling dark water, his mind going in circles. He couldn’t have a child. He wanted to do things, travel, get drunk. He knew what it meant to have a kid. Well, maybe not completely, but he knew he couldn’t stay at Uni, and that meant the end of his research. His biological sciences degree would be a complete waste. He’d have to get a serious job. He snorted and turned away from the river.

She’d understand, once they had a chat. She knew it was stupid, she just didn’t want to admit it. And that was fair enough, she was the pregnant one. He had no idea how it felt, but it had to be pretty intense having something growing inside you. Like Aliens. He chuckled and sipped his hot chocolate.

There was nothing funny about this. Nothing at all. The scent of flowers drew him back toward the river and he paused. There was a guy selling flowers and they were amazing, the most incredible blooms spread out on this little table. He wore this big puffer jacket and looked cold.

‘Hi. Nice flowers.’

‘Thank you, sir. I am rather proud of them. Can I interest you in buying something? Perhaps there’s someone special you could give them to?’

Actually, that was a really good idea. He could soften her up with some roses. There was a bunch of red roses right in front of him that smelled gorgeous.

‘Yeah, I’ll take those please.’

The flower seller wrapped them up, humming a song that sounded vaguely familiar. He held them out to Alex with a smile.

‘I’ve given you thirteen in case one gets damaged on the way to wherever you’re going. Maybe you could give it to someone else, if you don’t need it?’

Alex nodded absently and paid, not really hearing him. Lisa would love these. He could say sorry and they could have a chat and decide what they wanted. He nipped across the road and up the steps to Embankment station. Just as he was about to step in, the world went black. He stared up and gasped.

The sky was filled with shapes, huge balloons that drifted like clouds over London. There were glimpses of sunlight between them, but the smog and dirt that hung beneath them blocked any that got through. The streets were deserted around him and the entrance to the station was blocked by orange bollards.

A screaming sound, like a police siren on crack, started up and he ducked his head instinctively. A car hammered down the street, weaving this way and that before piling into the black railings. Moments later, a different sound cut through the sirens, a whistling noise that grew louder. Alex spotted the rocket just before it struck the car. The explosion washed over him and he was thrown back into the bollards.

He raised his head, peering at the flaming wreckage of the car. Two dark grey trucks came into view and screeched to a halt. Men in uniforms the same colour as the truck emerged and surrounded the car. They carried guns and before he had a moment to prepare himself, they unleashed at the burning vehicle.

The flames shifted this way and that as the bullets flew into the steel and rubber. After a few seconds of gunfire, the men piled back into their truck and drove swiftly away, leaving Embankment empty and shockingly silent. The siren stopped.

‘Alex, welcome to London.’

The voice was familiar and sounded inside his head and took his mind a little further than it was willing to go. He groaned and cradled his head in his hands.

Next Installment Thursday 17th July

Part One is here

Friday – Sam part two

She’d only set one personal ring-tone on her phone and that had been for Tanya. And now it was ringing. Chewing her lip, she looked at the screen and there she was, the photo they’d taken in Hamley’s with the giant elephant staring her in the face. She lifted it to her ear and took a deep breath, then pressed answer.

Tanya was sobbing, mewing into the phone and the sound nearly sent Sam to her knees. Tanya didn’t cry, same way she didn’t talk about her feelings or admit to being scared of anything.

‘Tany, was is it, what’s wrong?’

‘I miss you.’

It took a while to come out between the sobs but as it sunk in, Sam staggered back until she found a bench and sat. The tears were for her. The space on the other side of the bed was gaping, a gulf into which she fell every night.

‘I miss you too.’ She burst into tears as the words came out and for a while the only sound was the two of them sharing the one thing they’d never shared before. Sam got control first, horribly aware of the people staring at her and the likely state of her mascara. The last few months had necessitated the exploration of all sorts of waterproof mascara before she’d decided that description was a contradiction in terms.

‘Where are you?’

‘At the flat. Where are you?’

‘In town. I just had to leave work for a while. There’s—’

‘Can you come and see me?’

‘Of course, I mean, yeah, of course. I’ll be there in a half hour.’

The sniffles were drying up and Tanya sounded more like her old self. ‘Okay, see you soon.’

The phone went dead and Sam stared at it. Tanya never said bye when she hung up, but she’d almost forgotten the abruptness. It used to really bug her, not getting to say bye or I love you. As she tucked it into her jacket pocket, she realised she’d just spoken to Tanya for the first time in four months and she hadn’t asked about the cancer. Probably just too upset.

She set off, ignoring the stitch that formed in her side and the shortness of breath that made her blink and pant as she walked. She was almost at the station when she stopped, distracted by the most amazing scents. The flower stall was in its usual place but it smelled better than usual today and her feet carried her away from the station until she stood before a wondrous display of colours.

The flower seller came around the side of his stall and stood beside her.

‘Can I interest you in anything today, madam?’

His voice made her smile. He reminded her of university and visiting her parents. He smiled back and she stared at him for a moment. He was odd, really. She’d only glanced at him before, but the voice and the sharp eyes were very different than the picture she’d built up in her mind. Funny how quickly we create an image of someone and how easily it can be wrong.

‘Um, I don’t know, maybe, yes?’

‘Splendid. That’s conclusive then. How about some roses?’

The smile took the sting from his gentle mockery and she found herself smiling again. It felt strange on her face and reminded her of the man on the train.

‘I like roses.’

‘A bunch of twelve perhaps. You could put them in your office, or maybe take them home to have in the kitchen.’

The way he said it made her think he knew what her kitchen looked like. He could see the empty glass vase that sat, unused on the windowsill. She shook her head.

‘How do you know I work in an office?’

He chuckled and the sound slipped up her back and massaged her neck. ‘Well, you’re wearing a suit. You look stressed, I’m sorry to say and you’re here. One should never assume anything, but I thought it was probably a fair guess.’

She nodded. ‘I look that good then?’

He looked up at the sky for a moment, hands moving unceasingly as he cut and wrapped the roses. ‘I am sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.’

She waved it away. ‘Not at all. It’s not surprising really, I have cancer.’

Her mouth snapped shut and she blushed deep red. ‘God, I’m sorry, I don’t know where that came from.’

‘It’s fine, really. Well, not the cancer, but telling me, it’s fine. Sometimes it’s nice to talk to a stranger. So long as your mother doesn’t find out, of course.’

He said it with a wry grin that managed to banish the blood from her cheeks and make her smile. He didn’t look surprised. In fact, he seemed matter of fact about it.

‘Do you often have people telling you they have cancer?’

‘Fortunately not. But I’ve… known people who suffered from it. I am sorry.’

He hoisted the roses up, obscuring his mouth. ‘Will you keep these, then?’

She hesitated. But if she could tell him about the cancer, then… ‘actually, I’m just on my way to see my ex. I haven’t seen her in four months. I think I might give them to her.’

The roses lowered and he stared her straight in the eyes. ‘I think you should keep them. Here, I’ll put an extra one in there and you can give her that one. One rose is far more romantic than twelve, after all.’

She took them from him and breathed them in. The smell took her far away from London and Tanya and the impending operation that wasn’t going to be successful. She was back at home at her parents’ place. Funny how she still thought of it as home. She was in the garden, listening to mum and dad talk on the patio as the sun beat down.

She blinked away the memory and paid the man. As she was walking away, his voice followed her to the station. ‘Remember, you just give her the thirteenth and keep the rest.’

She mulled it over as she got on the escalator down to the tube. She already knew she’d give them all to Tanya. She’d give her everything she owned if they got back together. She grabbed the last seat in her carriage and chewed on her knuckle. Was this a really stupid idea?

The smell filled the carriage and she noticed everyone smiling at her. She also saw more than one person rise, as though to get off at a station, then sit back down and relax. They rolled into Shepherd’s Bush and she stood. Most of the carriage rose with her and got off. Some came with her to the exit, but most wandered aimlessly or headed for the opposite platform.

She got above ground and the smell drifted away, replaced by the scent of fried chicken and the market. It brought back more memories than she was willing to deal with and she stomped across the green, focusing on the steady beat of her feet on the pavement.

The flat was just as it had been four months ago. Why was that strange? What had she expected? The door was the same colour and every move she made felt choreographed, as though coming back here was destined to happen. Perhaps it was. Perhaps that was why it was only today she’d changed her screen saver.

Her hand shook when she reached for the bell and she hesitated, staring at the tiny white circle as though it could answer the hundreds of questions rattling around her brain. With the smallest of shrugs, she pressed the button. And waited.

Her palms were sweaty and she felt wobbly, ready to topple over. Footsteps approached the door and she took a deep breath. The door opened and the breath caught, stuck in her throat. It wasn’t Tanya. It was a face she vaguely recognised. Was it an old friend of Tany’s? It might be.

She coughed as her body caught up with her not breathing. It took control for a moment and she grabbed the door frame to stay upright as her body shook. When she finally stopped, she looked back at the woman who stood waiting, arms folded.

‘Um, is Tanya there, please?’

The woman spared her another glance then turned and walked into the flat, leaving the door ajar. Sam pushed it open and put one foot inside. The familiar scent of jasmine incense filled her nose and mingled with the roses she clutched tight in one hand. Her eyes watered and she stepped back, back into the cool clear air of the street.

‘Sweetheart, some woman’s here to see you.’

‘Who is it?’

‘Dunno…’ the rest of her words were too faint to hear, no matter how hard she strained. The roses were suddenly heavy, dragging her arm and she laid them carefully on the step. Who was the woman and what was she doing here? The word sweetheart bounced round and round her mind and with every revolution a little piece of her crumbled.

‘Hi, what— oh, hi, Sam, you came.’

‘Of course I came, you were upset.’

‘Yeah, but. No, of course, please, come in.’

‘Who is she?’

‘Huh?’

‘The woman who opened the door, who is she?’

‘Oh. She’s Trish, she’s my partner.’

‘Your partner.’

‘Yeah, about two months now.’

‘And she’s already moved in?’

‘Yeah, well.’

‘Your partner… I’m going to go, I should go.’

‘Sam, wait, what did you think?’

She scrubbed the tears away and rounded on her. Something bubbled up from within, something she recognised from her father, just once or twice when she was young. Something that terrified her.

‘WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK, WHAT DID YOU THINK, TELL ME, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK, YOU CALLED ME. YOU CALLED ME. YOU SAID YOU MISSED ME, YOU SAID…’

She trailed off, wiping her chin and dropping her head. Everything was gone, like something had scraped her out from the inside. Tanya stared at her, eyes wide and hands held out before her like she expected Sam to attack her. Maybe she would, if she had more energy.

She scooped up the roses and stuck her arm out straight. They looked alien, like they weren’t from Earth. The smell was gone. The smell of everything was gone. Her nose was blocked and streaming. Tanya looked at the roses, shaking her head.

‘Take them.’

Still she shook her head. Sam yanked one from the bag, a thorn splitting her finger open. She looked at the blood, blinking, waiting for the pain to start. She stepped forward and Tanya backed into the flat, one hand holding the door. Sam shoved the roses in her face and finally she took them.

With the one rose gripped between her fingers, she turned and marched down the street. She listened for the door but it never closed, not until she was round the corner and heading toward the green. She looked down at the rose in her hand.

‘This one’s for me. That’s who it’s for.’

She smiled and shoved her nose in it and took a deep breath. The smell was back, stronger than ever and a sort of haze came over her. She felt rather than knew she was getting on the tube, but she only knew she was going home when she stepped out at Chalfont and Latimer and buzzed through the gate.

She ran a bath. She put the kettle on, but forgot to make the tea. She undressed slowly, every move taking forever as her limbs refused to follow her instructions. She took the phone off the hook. She walked into each room and ran her fingers over the furniture, straightened pictures that didn’t need straightening. She went into the lounge and flicked the switch behind the TV, taking it from standby to fully off. She should be doing that every night.

The bath steamed but she barely felt the scalding water as she sank into it. The rose twirled slowly between her fingers and she reached out with gentle, shaking fingers to pluck the first petal. With each one she tore off and dropped into the water, she imagined she could feel the cancer, eating her insides.

When all the petals lay scattered across the water, she dropped the blood-stained stem onto the tiled floor and reached for the knife. She felt that, but only for a moment.

Interlude

Dammit. Damn, damn, damn. That was the worse choice ever, what the devil had he been thinking? She was so far beyond his control, he’d never had a chance. What had Tanya been thinking, what kind of horrible bitch was she?

He was made of pure energy, but he couldn’t help being angry at her anyway. There was reasonable behaviour and then there was just being unpleasant and that was unnecessary. The flower seller sighed and shook his head. The bath was red now and her life force sunk down and out, then rushed past him.

So that was that. Two from five. That Monday feeling was coming back with a vengeance. He picked up the list. He needed an easy one, a real easy one. Or at least one where he had a chance of making a difference.

He found Alex pretty quickly and read through it twice. He was beginning to question his instincts. Three hundred years of this and suddenly he was making all the wrong decisions. What was that about? He was thinking more as well, about things he’d never used to think about. What happened if you didn’t meet your quota? What happened to those who went below?

Why was he asking anything? He knew what happened below. He’d invented most of it. Perhaps that was what was wrong. He’d spent three hundred years working against his will, against his values. He shook his head. That wasn’t true, not since the Father got through with him. He’d stripped away most of the bad stuff and left him back where he’d started, all those thousands of years ago. But it was there, creeping about inside, longing for a way out.

He picked up the list again and focused on Alex. He would get Alex and then it would be all about Sunday. He just had to get Alex.