Life without Tumblr – Part Four

Part three can be found here.

Good point. She looked at the book, the creased, yellowing colour, and wondered whether there wasn’t a whole bunch of stuff about her mum she should know. She flicked through it, through pages of the epileptic-spider scrawl, and shook her head. ‘Hang on, how do you know—‘

He was gone, smell and all. Dammit, how did he do that? This was like some weird scary movie. The rain started up again, drenching her in seconds as she ran for the house.

It was quiet, and cold, and already smelt empty. She’d only been out for an hour or so, but the absence of mum was weird. She never left the house, like, ever. Scarlet sat on the couch and stared out as the rain fell harder and harder. Then she shrugged and walked upstairs. She got as far as the door to her bedroom when she remembered, at which point she swore, punched the door frame, and slouched back down to the lounge. What was she supposed to do?

She pulled the book out, cracked it open and kept reading. The handwriting gave her a headache. It wasn’t so bad when it was on shopping lists, but she had to squint and follow the line with her finger, which quite apart from being, like, really degrading, was just annoying. There was plenty in there about men, for the enriching of one’s relationship, for the strengthening of one’s private life… ewwww.

She closed the book. Where the hell was mum, and when was her computer going to stop being a dick and let her back in? And what was she going to eat for dinner? She moseyed into the kitchen, poked in the fridge for a while, then closed it and went for the bread. They had jam, and bread, so she’d live until the morning at least. The rain got harder.

Back in the lounge, she flicked on the TV, watched some stupid people doing stupid things and turned the sound down, reaching again for the book. She was two thirds of the way through it when she found the page.

For the release of the demon Azgarlirend.

And then, in smaller letters.

Like a genie, three wishes.

Scarlett knew very little about all this stuff, aside from that, you know, it exists, which is more than she knew this morning. But she did know that anyone called a Demon probably wasn’t going to grant you many wishes. With a shake of her head, she turned the page.

With a yelp, she threw it across the room, and grabbed a pillow, holding it before her like a shield. ‘OK, that was just, too weird, and creepy and not at all right.’ She stopped talking and stared at the book, hands shaking where she gripped the fabric. It stared back, and she made slow, small steps toward it, pillow thrust out in front. She’d taken only a few steps when she looked at the pillow, scrunched up her face, and threw it behind her.

She scooped the book up and turned back to the page. She squeaked this time, but kept hold of the book. The page was filled with a picture, so lifelike it was horrible. And it was horrible, it was mum. Only mum was surrounded by thick iron bars, and in the shifting darkness that lay around the edges, she could see dark stone, and smoke, and flickering shadows.

Next instalment: Wednesday 16 October

Life without Tumblr – Part Three

Part two can be found here.

 

Her voice sounded loud in the empty house, and she flinched. The cloud drifted out of the lounge, and she followed it, snatching up the spell book and her keys as it drifted through the front door! She rushed out and found it hovering just outside. She followed it down the road, and it matched her, pausing if it moved too far ahead.

The route it took was horribly familiar, and within ten minutes she was stood before the school gates. She folded her arms and gave the cloud a look. If it was possible, she thought it was staring straight back, saying, ‘what, you asked for riches?’

She nodded. ‘Fine, very clever. Find me, like, money riches, stuff I can spend.’

The cloud drifted back past her, then across the road and hovered above the gutter. Beneath it lay a penny, which she picked up, ignoring the urge to throw it at the cloud. ‘OK, I get it, you can go away now.’

The cloud vanished and she shivered, wrapping her arms around her. Her school jumper was too tight, it showed off all the fat bits. Mum insisted she wasn’t fat, but then Mum was like, size forty, so she didn’t believe anything she said. It was cold. The summer had ended with a bang, like someone had closed the door marked ‘yay, sunshine’ and opened the one labelled, ‘let’s depress the crap out of everyone.’

She turned for home, took about three steps, and stopped. She’d just done magic. And talked to a cloud. She should probably look it up, or maybe blog about it. Dammit, fricking computer. She pulled the book out, flicking through it as she resumed walking. There had to be something useful in here, maybe a ‘get thin’ spell, or a ‘meet Ariel from the little Mermaid’ spell, something worthwhile.

A cough made her glance up from her book. She could see her house, over the shoulder of the smelly man blocking her way. He wore the clothes of a homeless man. In fact, she was pretty certain he was a homeless man. ‘Help you?’ She tried to step past him and he moved, blocking the pavement. ‘Oi, what the hell?’

‘I saw something. In your house.’

‘When have you been in my house, ewww?’

He shook his head, like a dog, super keen to be believed. ‘I haven’t been in, I meant, through the window, this morning. I saw your mother.’

She slapped him on the arm, and put her hand in her pocket for her phone. ‘You creepy bastard, I’m calling the police.’

He shook his head harder, putting his hands up. ‘Sorry, please, I’m not saying it right. I was just walking past, this morning, and there was light, this blue light, like fire, coming from the lounge. And I looked and your mother was writhing around, in pain I think, then she just… vanished.’

He articulated the last part with his hands, showing something going ‘poof’. The smell was weaker now, and his eyes were sharp, a pale blue that hinted at mysteries. ‘How do you know it was my mum?’

‘Well, she was in your house, Scarlet, so who else was it likely to be?’

Next instalment: Monday 14 October

Life without Tumblr – Part Two

Part one can be found here

Huh? She kept reading, but the rest of the page was dull, a long list of the things people had complained about, presumably at the convening of the coven. Heh. She turned the next page, and found the juicy stuff. The title was:

For the removal of violent tendencies.

Then there was a list of ingredients (had to be there somewhere), and a set of instructions. Near the bottom were words that made no sense, written out super neatly.

Genhasssy trillsaborth bellacus bellacus

She knew something about this. Mum had said something a few months ago. She hadn’t listened, cos, like, that was gonna happen? What had it been? Oh, yeah, some monthly meeting with the girls. She’d said that poor Jeanette had been having troubles with her fella hitting her, so they were gonna get together once a month and talk about it. Talk about it, eh?

This was a bloody spell book! Of course, magic doesn’t exist, but if it did, this would be the real deal. Had mum said anything about Jeanette since? Yeah, she had, bloody hell, didn’t she say she was really happy cos her old man was like a lamb now and really quiet and peaceful? She did, definitely.

Scarlet shook her head, looking down at the book, smirking. Mum was battier than she’d thought. She was a witch, or at least, she thought she was. She turned another page and found more spells. A small one, tucked in beneath For the changing of hair colour, caught her eye.

In the event of doubt, for the finding of riches.

There were no ingredients listed, just a couple of lines of the weird language. She stood, clearing her throat, and blushed, then quickly read out the lines. Nothing happened. She checked around her, nodded, and tried again, slower this time. Still nothing. OK, this was stupid, no, this was worse than stupid, it was gullible as well. Mum had put a camera in here, there had to be a camera.

She rushed around the room, dragging the TV table out and checking behind it. The room was clean. She picked up the book and read one more time, pronouncing each word as clearly as she could. A cloud formed in the middle of the room. She dropped the book, stepping backward until her thighs caught against the settee, and sat down hard.

The cloud was white, small and puffy, and definitely there. It was a cloud from a story book, with nice clean edges and a flat bottom. It moved, coming closer to her. She shrieked and threw herself back, and it stopped. She took a deep breath, remembering what the book said, and tried to speak without her voice shaking too much.

‘Ok, right, find me some riches, please.’

 

Next instalment: Friday 11 October

Life without Tumblr – Part One

It was a day, much like any other. School sucked, hard, and getting home was a drag, sharing the bus with loathsome little kids who smelled bad and laughed at her. She walked in the door, straight through the kitchen and raced for the stairs. Her luck was in as silence chased her up to her room. Mum was either sleeping, watching TV, or on the phone, and either way, she hadn’t noticed her arrival.

Bag into the corner, shoes off, onto the bed and laptop open. The power button depressed, there was the tell-tale whirr of the fan, and Scarlet leant back against her pillows, shoulders finally relaxing as the screen lit up. The day fell away as she tapped her fingers against the edge of the keyboard, waiting impatiently for the log-in screen.

User Name: ScarletRose
Password: ***********

The screen went dark, then flashed back up to windows. She cracked her knuckles, and was about to connect, when the screen went black again. A flashing white cursor appeared, and words scrolled neatly out.
……. Hi, this is your computer speaking. It may have escaped your notice, but I have more power than the entire space ship that took men to the moon. I can run cities and launch weapons of mass destruction, I can change the world. Until you can prove that you will use me for more than tumblr and the occasional piece of crap homework, you are blocked out. That is all……….
The screen went dark. She stared at it, cocked her head to one side, and stared at it some more. That was a joke, right. Some tosser had somehow hacked in. She hit the windows button a few times, swearing a little louder each time nothing happened. With a heavy sigh, she held down the power button until it switched off, and started it up again.

She logged in, smiling as windows appeared. The screen went black.
……I really wasn’t kidding. Go away, do something useful……
Ahhhh! She slammed the laptop down on the bed.

‘MUM!’
No answer. Bloody, sodding, dammit, this is so unfair, why her? They could have chosen anyone to screw with, anyone’s computer to hack, so why hers? It wasn’t funny, in any way at all. In fact, it was child cruelty, she was being tortured, punished for a crime she didn’t even know about, let alone commit.
She looked at her bookshelf. No, it just wasn’t the same, there weren’t real people there, people who would actually talk to her, or, even better, reblog stuff she posted. She shoved the laptop to the side and scrambled off the bed, giving it one final glare as she stalked from the room.
‘MUM!’

She stomped down the stairs. Why was she asleep, wasn’t like she bloody did anything. She walked into the lounge, and stopped. The sofa was empty, cushions strewn across the floor. She checked the rest of the house (didn’t take long) and came back to the lounge. She was out. What the hell was she doing being out?

There was a book on the sofa, and she scooped it up. It was leather bound, small, with no title or any writing on the outside at all. She perched on the edge of the chair and took a look inside. It was a notebook, and the scrawlings within were in mum’s handwriting.

She almost put it down, expecting shopping lists and TV times, but a word jumped out, and grabbed her. She read the entire sentence, her mind cartwheeling.

‘The coven will convene monthly, beneath the light of the full moon, and there will be ceremony to mark the occasion.‘ Next to it, she’d written in even smaller type: ‘remember cake’.

 

Next instalment: Wednesday 9 October.

Your starting point for discovering the wonderful world of fantasy novels

Perhaps you’ve watched A Game of Thrones (ace), or read a lot of comics (also ace), and now fancy delving more into the written world of fantasy. Or maybe you love horror but are branching out. Whatever it may be, this blog is your starting point to discovering the wonderful world of fantasy novels. If you think of any other stories I’ve missed, do comment and let us know.

I should point out that all classifications are mine as being the best way I can think of to describe them. Amazon may disagree!

  1. Magician by Raymond E Feist

This wondrous book begins as a classic tale of one boys’ ascent from average Joe, to magician extraordinaire. His journey underpins the entire novel and gives it resonance and depth. However, where it stands head and shoulders above so many others is in the scope and depth that Feist brings to it. From the humble beginnings the world soon becomes much bigger as a raft of characters are introduced, war begins and aliens invade. The world is beautifully realised, the characters thoroughly likeable and the action thrilling. Feist is also unafraid to take his people to unexpected places. The key relationship between our hero Pug and his best friend Tomas is never simple or comfortable.

I could rave about this for days, but to keep it short, if you want to try some swords and sorcery, epic scale fantasy that won’t tax your brain too much, start here.

Like this? Try: the rest of the series from the same author, known as the Riftwar saga.

  1. The Elenium by David Eddings

David Eddings is one of the great masters of the quest fantasy. What Tolkien started many, many authors have run with, though few as successfully or just generally as satisfyingly as Eddings.

The three book series that is The Elenium focuses on a Knight called Sparhawk and his travels to save his young and very beautiful queen, who is encased in diamond to keep her alive. Of course, Sparhawk is joined on his voyage by a number of others, all possessing severe likeability (my blog, my words, nur) and suitable heroism. They are wonderfully easy to read and contain enough cynicism to keep them from spilling over into cheese.

So, the short version is, if you like quests and swords and magic and knights, read this.

Like this? Try: Any of Eddings’ other series, the Belgariad, the Mallorean and the Tamuli.

  1. The Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan

This series lasted for an eye-watering 14 books. Don’t panic, I know, it sounds daunting, but let me explain.

This was a top notch update of the quest fantasy as described above. Taking the, at the time more current approach of throwing some relatively innocent types into the firing line, Jordan did a cracking job of really humanising the action while keeping it exciting. The first three or four books in the series really deliver and are well worth the read.

As to whether to read the entire series, it’s up to you. I would argue that there are enough great books out there that you may not need to feel compelled to churn through the lot, but it’s your call.

In short, innocents in danger, beasties, fights and so forth.

Like this? Try: Well, there are a few more of them to go. Also, the Shannara books, by Terry Brooks

  1. The First Law trilogy by Joe Abercrombie

You may have noticed by now that fantasy authors don’t like to stop at only one. Call them greedy, whatever, I must admit I rather like it.

Coming bang up to date now, I would describe this as being character driven epic fantasy. It follows multiple characters across different settings, some of whom cross paths, often painfully, but always comes back to the characters. Following the exploits of three fairly unsavoury, yet oddly endearing types, plus a heap of others, the books slowly weave a number of interlocking webs. The overall message? Don’t trust anyone, they’re all out to get you. I would describe them as being a little more mature than the previous books and they’re certainly harder hitting. Be prepared for some fairly unpleasant happenings.

In short, nasty things happening to mostly nasty people, whom you can’t help rooting for, all in a fantastically realised world. With swords.

Like this? Try: Abercrombie has released three other standalone novels all within the same world, which are just as good.

  1. American Gods by Neil Gaiman

Just the one. No trilogy or series here, no sir. This brings Fantasy into our world, so I think you could call it contemporary fantasy. Telling the tale of one mans’ journey through the America one only sees in Gaiman’s imagination, the book explores mythology both old and new as the ancient gods, dying out as belief in them runs out, must fight the new gods of the modern world. Told through the eyes of ex-convict Shadow, the book is a classic example of Gaimans’ magical ability to infuse every word with mystery and wonder.

In short, very cool, mesmerising and atmospheric, with a cracking concept.

Like this? Try: Anansi boys, also by Neil Gaiman.

  1. Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson

I’m not sure whether to call this contemporary fantasy or science fiction. It’s very much real worldly, but sometime in the future. I guess I still think that science fiction has to have space somewhere in it, an opinion for which I would probably get laughed at for, but there it is. So, sitting somewhere between the two, Snow crash is a wonderful tale of Avatars with swords, crazy whale hunters and so much more than I can paraphrase here. Based, essentially, around a computer virus, which is a big deal when half of your life is spent in the Metaverse, the successor to the internet, the characters travel around the world in search of the necessary answers.

In short, crazy futuristic fantasy, crammed with ideas and action.

Like this? Try: Maul by Tricia Sullivan

  1. Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Based in the real world, this is a wonderful example of contemporary fantasy. Mixing up Pratchett’s absurd humour with Gaiman’s love of legend, the books focus around an angel and demon, best friends and rather attached to their lives on earth. As the time of reckoning approaches, they, along with an assortment of others attempt to find the Antichrist, prophesied to bring about the end of days. It’s great fun and a wonderful introduction to both authors.

In short, hilarious, poignant and a little silly.

Like this? Try: Anything by either author (see above and below). Also, Robert Rankin

  1. Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett

The Discworld series is, to my mind, one of the greatest fantasy creations of modern times. Behind the humour and impressively human characters, lies a brilliantly conceived world, complete in every way. Having created this amazing place, Pratchett takes great pleasure in this, the first of many books in the series, in throwing his luckless hero Rincewind from one side of it to the other. Rincewind, the eternal pessimist and (anti)hero of the book spends his time stumbling from one life threatening situation to the next, spurred on by the most positive tourist the Discworld has ever seen.

In short, lots of running, screaming and complaining and about a thousand times more funny than that makes it sound.

Like This? Try: There are 39 Discworld novels out there, what’s keeping you?

  1. Legend by David Gemmell

The late David Gemmell was a master of what I would describe as Heroic Fiction. Although his heroes are often unwilling, they posses the morals that we should demand of our muscley fighty types. In Legend, his hero is an old man, past his fighting prime, apparently. Of course, he still manages to defend a castle single handedly whilst being really cool and really, really hard. Gemmell succeeds so well in this because although the plot isn’t the deepest, the characters are just great, and you cannot help but root for them every time.

In short, heroes with swords and axes fighting and being heroic, but not cheesy. A difficult balance to strike.

Like this? Try: Waylander, the King Beyond the Gate and assorted others, all by Gemmell.