Welcome to Cairns Writes, home of Science-Fiction, Fantasy and Horror author, Michael Cairns.
Breaking News (July 2023) Twitter have kicked me out! For reasons that make no sense to me at all, Twitter, or possibly X by the time this goes live, has disabled my account, removed all my followers and stopped me from tweeting or retweeting… 🙁
On a more positive note, my Patrons over on Patreon are still giving rave reviews of their monthly short stories, my first top level patron is, finally, about to appear in a book, and there are exciting things afoot, more of which soon…
Breaking News (April 2021): Harry On The Dead Planet is nearly here! With a speculative release date of April 30th and a first ever Amazon-exclusive release, this is your chance to get a swash-buckling, spine-chilling tale of zombie-hunting on a dead world absolutely free!! Watch this space for final details and the cover art.
More Breaking News (April 2021)
Not so much breaking as already broken, here’s the movie you’ve all been waiting for. This is a zombie’s eye view of just some of the happenings in Thirteen Roses. If you’ve not read the series yet, you can check it out below, then head over to Amazon to read the wonderful reviews. We made this before lockdown, believe it or not, in the days when getting London empty like this involved an obscenely early Sunday morning start and a lot of glaring at innocent passers by. The filming and editing was done by the wonderful Duncan McCabe, with whom I’m hoping to do more soon…
More More Breaking News (April 2021) You can join me on Patreon! For less than a cup of coffee, you can receive an exclusive short story every month, a Patron-only novella, regular newsletters and more! For less than a pizza a month, you can star in one of my books! Recent short stories have included GODTECH, the company who do a little more than simply manipulating the weather, Concrete, the charming tale of a family man with a side trade in murder, and War, a heart-breaking story of a boy’s desire for more and the sad truths that draw him home. Go check it out here
More, More, More Broken News (April 2021) The print version of Jimmy and Jerry is now out!! I’ve collected them together as Friday Night Double Feature, since they’re the closest thing I’ve written to the kinds of movies I just love watching.
The cover looks like this and you can buy it here (UK) or here (US)
Michael’s Books
There are currently six series’ and the few others books available for your reading pleasure: The links below will take you to Amazon, but you can find all of these books on Barnes and Noble, iBooks, Kobo and Smashwords.
Jerry In The City Of The Damned
For adults who like horror, hard boiled crime fiction, murder, sex and depravity. Don’t pretend you don’t, now, I can tell. You’re here, after all…
For adults who like disaster movies, buddy movies, mutant crocs, ridiculous conversation and tastelessnessness.
Nirusha Through the Doors of Magic
For fans of magic and wonder, kids aged 8 and up
Thirteen Roses – A Paranormal Zombie Saga
For fans of zombies, apocalypses… apocalypti… apocal… you get the idea. Definitely for adults.
A Spider Dreams – 15 Creepy Short Stories of Horror, Mayhem and Children’s Birthday Parties
For fans of horror, in its many wonderful forms. Also definitely for adults.
For fans of… well, kind of tells you in the title. Teens and up.
Ninja Zombie Killers – A Comedy Horror Rock and Roll Odyssey
For fans of music, zombies, hot chocolate, bad comedy, and Dave. Definitely adults, though the more childish the better.
The Assassin’s Song – A Dark Fantasy Series
For fans of dark fantasy, so swords, kingdoms and kick-ass princesses, only with the odd zombie thrown in. Also somewhat mature in readership.
A Game of War – A Fast-Paced Sci-Fi Adventure
For fans of sci-fi adventure stories and cliffhangers. For teens and up.
The Planets – A Modern-Day-Superhero Sci-Fi Series
Superheroes, baby! Teens and up.
The City Electric – a dystopian super hero saga
Superheroes mixed with a god-awful apocalypse. Teens and up.
Jerry In The City Of The Damned
In the City, good days don’t come around too often…
This is the movie Eli Roth would make if he met Garth Ennis down a dark alley…
Jimmy vs Mutant Killer Crocs
In a small town in Southern England, something is stirring…
Mostly, it’s despair. Jimmy has returned from the shops to discover that his precious crocs have escaped their pen and are loose in Fampdown. The crocs have only one agenda; to get fed just as fast as they can. Jimmy’s agenda is also simple; catch the crocs before anyone gets eaten or finds out they’ve escaped.
He’s got some help. His best friend, serial-womaniser and personal trainer Dan, has a van and the time. They’ve got tranquilliser guns, nets and freshly-brewed coffee. Dan’s babysitting his 16 year old niece, Tamara, but so long as she stays in the van, all will be well.
So there’s not much to worry about…
Only the news keeps mentioning a lorry filled with toxic sludge that got stolen at the port, a storm is brewing over Fampdown, and crocs, it turns out, aren’t quite as easy to catch as Jimmy would like.
This is the disaster movie Edgar Wright hasn’t made yet and the buddy movie Kevin Smith should make having noisy sex in the back of a transit.
Nirusha Through the Doors of Magic
Nirusha has never felt more alone.
Now dad’s gone and mum’s become a zombie, all she has is a bedroom in a house she barely knows, and her books.
Until, that is, a man appears at the back of the garden, offering her a present and a message from her dead father.Nirusha is still alone, but now she has something to live for, something that will change her life forever.
Magic…
And talking rats.
The City Electric – the First Trilogy
Dancy waits…
Sometimes, she waits all night. Rain or snow, she sits atop the city, watching for him. For Never Man. Some nights, he doesn’t show. Other nights…
Five years ago, Dancy was rescued by Never Man. He didn’t say why. He didn’t say much of anything. But since then, she’s lived every day in the hope of meeting him again, of understanding him and the choice he made.
A mystery in a city filled with rules.
Like the ones that make her relationship with Mina illegal, yet allow the Dark Net to flourish, or the one that turned her illegal hacking into one of the highest paid jobs in London. Right now, the Dark Net is filled with conspiracy theories about something called the Cleansing. Dancy’s too busy planning a holiday to worry about silly things like that, but her dream is about to come true and, when it does, the Cleansing will no longer seem like a crazy theory…
The City Electric welcomes you into a world where the line between super hero and villain is blurred, a world similar to our own, yet subtly different, a world in which you need to choose your questions carefully, because you might not like the answers…
Thirteen Roses – A Seven Book Series
The flower seller sets up his stall on Embankment every day. Every day, he will serve only one customer. That person will be on the edge, teetering between heaven and hell, and it is up to him to steer them in the right direction.
But this week, it will be different. Because this week, someone is screwing with the flower seller. While he struggles to figure out who it is, and why they are doing it, something far bigger is occurring, something that will change the world forever.
A plague is about to strike mankind that will reduce them to mindless zombies, bent on nothing more than the regular consumption of flesh. The flower seller is charged with the task of saving humanity, a task he neither wants, nor cares about.
Without him, mankind is doomed. With him, they might just be worse.
But who is the flower seller? Why does he try to save the subjects? And how the hell is he going to save the world?
The Complete Thirteen Roses collects all seven books in the series, from the very first sniff of something bloody and undead on the streets of London, to the apocalyptic climax. Follow Luke, Bayleigh, Krystal, Jackson and the rest as they ‘enjoy’ the worst, and best, year of their lives. And kill zombies.
A Spider Dreams – 15 Creepy Short Stories of Horror, Mayhem and Children’s Birthday Parties
Daniel Sullivan is about to receive a phone call that will change his life. It may also change the life of the 5 children he’s supposed to be looking after…
Susan’s grandmother died a while back and, while the will is sorted out, she and her brothers are going through the attic. They’re about to find a treasure map that will lead them somewhere they never expected…
Amanda’s father hits her. He’s done it for years and she’s finally summoned up the courage to deal with him. But she’s not taking the easy route. No poison in the coffee for her dad, oh no. Tonight, she’s summoning a demon…
Ben’s losing letters. It’s not the worst thing that can happen to a newly made zombie, but when one of the letters he’s lost is Z, it really bites. So it’s time to head to the library to do some serious research…
A Spider Dreams collects together the best of a series of horror short stories all written in 2015 as part of Michael Cairns’s #15for2015 challenge. Sometimes humorous, sometimes sick, always creepy, A Spider Dreams takes you from the mourning mind of a serial killer to the mushy stuff that lives inside a zombie’s cranium, via a death bed, a barbecue, and a comic convention.
Forgotten Dreams – A Collection of Science Fiction, Fantasy, Superhero, Paranormal and Speculative Fiction short stories
Every week, a demon and an angel meet for coffee…
Edward’s received a letter requesting him to return to the warehouse. Apparently, he’s defective.
Shell is on a starship, heading for a place she’ll never see, fleeing an Earth she never knew.
Thell’s awaiting the verdict from the council, though she already knows what it’ll be…
London’s drowning. Howard’s down the pub, trying to explain why having gills doesn’t mean they’re coming for him…Forgotten Dreams is a collection of 21 short stories, spread across a wide range of genres, yet connected by a journey into the unlikely. From superheroes to murderers, witches to intergalactic detectives, Forgotten Dreams looks for the unlikely in the ordinary, the human in the fantastical, the dreams that stay buried beneath the waking haze.
Ninja Zombie Killers – Five books so far in an ongoing series
In the beginning there was Dave.
Then came rock and roll.
Then came zombies in bad wedding suits, vampires in bad 80s cars, holiday camps, mysterious spell books, undead fathers of the brides, service station hot chocolates, grumpy singers, ninja drummers and an endlessly patient girlfriend.
Only, she’s not so patient anymore. Because Dave’s been chosen to save the world, and if there’s one thing more annoying than a boyfriend who gets home at five every morning, it’s one with a bloated sense of his own importance and a knife fetish.
And then there’s Lilith. She’s been born more times than she can remember. She also happens to be dangerously cute and, as if that wasn’t bad enough, the girl’s got serious pipes.
So Dave, Tom (the grumpy singer), Darren (the ninja drummer), and Lilith (mysterious hot witchy lady), have their work cut out for them. Now if they only knew who wanted to end the world, things would be so much simpler.
Ninja Zombie Killers is what would happen if Buffy grew up, grew a pair, moved to London and learnt to rock.
The Assassin’s Song – A Trilogy
Aryan was born to a whore and spent his childhood hiding from her fists round at Darryl’s house. All his life he wished something would change, something would happen. When the Night of Blood came, he discovered the danger of wishing for anything too hard.
Nowadays, Aryan travels the continent, searching for a myth only fools still believe in. Darryl’s still around and they’ve been joined by Tast, an actor in a world without stages. Then there’s Lissa, but the less said about her, the better.
His search might not be so difficult, if it weren’t for the curse. But the Wildlands are controlled by the walkers, and only fools leave the safety of the city walls. But sometimes it takes a fool to see what others are too scared to. Just like it takes an assassin to do what others can’t, or won’t…
Assassin’s Lament is a coming of age story mixed up with a dash of romance, a hefty chunk of tragedy, and plenty of action. Cue swords, zombies, kingdoms, assassins, war, blood, and guilt. Plenty of guilt.
A Game of War – Seasons One and Two
Ally flies and dad shoots. She’s got a gift for flying, always has, even before she joined the Game. The Game? A weekly contest between slaves, winner takes all, losers get to walk home, assuming they survive that is. The slaves are owned by The Lords, aliens with more to hide than anyone realises Season one takes Ally from her first flight all the way to a fight to the death. Along the way she falls in love, grieves, discovers things about herself she could never have imagined, and flies like you wouldn’t believe. Season one collects the first three episodes of the A Game of War series, Childhood Dreams, The End of Innocence and Playing God
“…Superb characters and fantastic action in a wonderfully original setting…Cairns’s vision and his ability to bring it to life is as wondrous as the story he tells! You won’t be disappointed!” – 5* Amazon Reviewer
The Planets – Three books so far of an ongoing series
The Avengers meets Magician, The Planets Series is superhero conflict on a global scale…
- An ancient cadre of magicians
- A select team of extra-ordinary warriors
- An unseen foe
As two ancient forces battle for control, reality as we know it is being torn apart. Caught somewhere in the middle, and tasked with ridding the world of the insidious alien intelligence are The Planets. Neptune hails from Rio, the gay daughter of strict catholic parents. Mars, from Ireland, still missing the sister he lost years ago. Uri grew up on the streets of New York, and Venus… well, no one knows and she isn’t telling. Imbued with extra-ordinary powers, these highly trained individuals take the fight across the globe. With startling and unnerving revelations at every turn, the depth of deception is only now becoming clear…