Saturday – Alex Part One
The wall hadn’t changed. He’d stared at it for hours now, but it was just the same. Every thing else had changed, but the wall was the same. If he looked at it long enough, perhaps everything else would follow and fall back into line.
He glanced at his phone. The screen was dark so he pressed the button. It faded back up and the message was still there and nothing would be the same again. He was lying to himself. The wall was different. Before it had just been a wall. Now it was a barrier.
Alex hauled himself out of the kitchen chair and slumped into the lounge. He flicked on the TV, grabbed a controller and spent more time than was healthy shooting things. When his thumbs started hurting, he tossed the controller to one side and looked at his phone again. Same message. Perhaps if he let it run out of battery, the message would go and he could pretend he hadn’t seen it.
He ran his nails across his scalp and groaned. It wouldn’t work. He opened the phone and went into his texts.
‘Hey. I’m pregnant.’
He lifted the phone, ready to throw it at the wall, then lowered it and laughed. It was a laugh that said more than words ever could. It was a horrible, cynical laugh that carried not a whit of humour and plenty of anger. But what had he to be angry about?
It was his fault. It was him who’d forgotten the condoms and him who’d pushed and pushed until she caved in. He didn’t even think he was surprised. He’d been a grumpy bastard for the last month and he wondered whether it wasn’t because he’d known, deep down, what was coming.
He started to type and stopped. He flicked to phone and called her.
‘Hey.’
‘Hey. Got your message.’
‘Yeah. Crazy huh?’
She sounded slightly hysterical, a little too high-pitched.
‘Yeah, that’s just the right word. What you gonna do?’
‘What do you mean, you?’
‘Well it’s your call, isn’t it?’
‘It’s our call, Alex, it’s our baby.’
‘It’s not a baby, not yet. It’s a, you know, foetus.’
‘Right, yeah. What do you want to do?’
‘It’s not about me, is it?’
‘Yeah, actually, it is.’
‘Well what do you want to do?’
‘It’s a baby, I—’
‘No it’s not.’
‘What do you want to do?’
‘I don’t want a baby. I don’t want to have kids. I’m sorry, I just don’t. We haven’t even finished Uni, it’s ridiculous.’
‘So you think we should get—’
‘Yeah.’
‘Right. What do we do?’
‘We go to the hospital, I think. Look, Lisa, I just think it’s too soon and we’re too young and—’
‘Yeah, yeah, you’re right. Yeah.’
The phone went dead and he stared at it. Had she hung up? It rang a second later and he jumped and dropped it. It slipped between the cushions and he swore and jumped onto the floor, dragging them off until he raised it triumphantly aloft.
‘Yeah, what happened?’
‘Sorry, just cut off, don’t know why. So, we go tomorrow?’
‘Yeah. I’ll come over yours.’
They sorted the time and he put the phone down. He reached for the controller and pressed start, but the bad guys had been planning and he died before he got anywhere.
He slept badly, waking up in pools of sweat and searching for a dry patch on the bed before drifting off again.
It was half five when he finally crawled out and into the shower. No point in lying there when he couldn’t sleep. He slipped out the house and got on the tube heading for central. The others thought he was weird, but there was nothing he liked better than getting into town before everyone else.
It was half six when he arrived and the rush hour traffic was already building up, but Embankment was quiet enough for him to think. He reached Temple when his phone buzzed.
‘I don’t want an abortion. Can you come over now?’
The phone shook as his hand tightened around it. He shoved it in his pocket. This time he could pretend he hadn’t seen it. He could go over to hers at the normal time and just pretend it got lost. He wasn’t having that conversation over the phone. And she was wrong. He stomped back toward the station and grabbed a hot chocolate.
Alex stared into the river at the swirling dark water, his mind going in circles. He couldn’t have a child. He wanted to do things, travel, get drunk. He knew what it meant to have a kid. Well, maybe not completely, but he knew he couldn’t stay at Uni, and that meant the end of his research. His biological sciences degree would be a complete waste. He’d have to get a serious job. He snorted and turned away from the river.
She’d understand, once they had a chat. She knew it was stupid, she just didn’t want to admit it. And that was fair enough, she was the pregnant one. He had no idea how it felt, but it had to be pretty intense having something growing inside you. Like Aliens. He chuckled and sipped his hot chocolate.
There was nothing funny about this. Nothing at all. The scent of flowers drew him back toward the river and he paused. There was a guy selling flowers and they were amazing, the most incredible blooms spread out on this little table. He wore this big puffer jacket and looked cold.
‘Hi. Nice flowers.’
‘Thank you, sir. I am rather proud of them. Can I interest you in buying something? Perhaps there’s someone special you could give them to?’
Actually, that was a really good idea. He could soften her up with some roses. There was a bunch of red roses right in front of him that smelled gorgeous.
‘Yeah, I’ll take those please.’
The flower seller wrapped them up, humming a song that sounded vaguely familiar. He held them out to Alex with a smile.
‘I’ve given you thirteen in case one gets damaged on the way to wherever you’re going. Maybe you could give it to someone else, if you don’t need it?’
Alex nodded absently and paid, not really hearing him. Lisa would love these. He could say sorry and they could have a chat and decide what they wanted. He nipped across the road and up the steps to Embankment station. Just as he was about to step in, the world went black. He stared up and gasped.
The sky was filled with shapes, huge balloons that drifted like clouds over London. There were glimpses of sunlight between them, but the smog and dirt that hung beneath them blocked any that got through. The streets were deserted around him and the entrance to the station was blocked by orange bollards.
A screaming sound, like a police siren on crack, started up and he ducked his head instinctively. A car hammered down the street, weaving this way and that before piling into the black railings. Moments later, a different sound cut through the sirens, a whistling noise that grew louder. Alex spotted the rocket just before it struck the car. The explosion washed over him and he was thrown back into the bollards.
He raised his head, peering at the flaming wreckage of the car. Two dark grey trucks came into view and screeched to a halt. Men in uniforms the same colour as the truck emerged and surrounded the car. They carried guns and before he had a moment to prepare himself, they unleashed at the burning vehicle.
The flames shifted this way and that as the bullets flew into the steel and rubber. After a few seconds of gunfire, the men piled back into their truck and drove swiftly away, leaving Embankment empty and shockingly silent. The siren stopped.
‘Alex, welcome to London.’
The voice was familiar and sounded inside his head and took his mind a little further than it was willing to go. He groaned and cradled his head in his hands.
Next Installment Thursday 17th July
